Golden Heart n.s

36. We'll Be Okay

NIALL

We lay in Harry's bed in silence, me in his arms, our legs entangled. His slightly callused fingers are grazing up and down my arm gently, as though afraid that I might just shatter if he applies a little bit more pressure.

I sigh in contentment, snuggling deeper into his side. I always find comfort in Harry's tenderness. Maybe that's why I've always been so attracted to him. Because he isn't just this guy with too many tattoos and cold personality, sporting red, busted knuckles majority of the time. He may always be wearing black, but his heart is made of gold. He's so caring, so tender and passionate. He has a bigger heart than most. A big heart that he rarely allows people to see.

And I'm glad that I'm one of the fortunate ones because I get to see it. I get to feel it.

"Your father was right in some aspects, you know." He suddenly speaks up.

I bring my gaze up to his, a small frown on my face.

"No he's not." I say firmly, feeling a little hurt and frustrated, mostly hurt. Because after constantly trying my hardest to convince my father all the good things about Harry, how can he still think that way about himself?

"Hear me out, Ni." He speaks calmly as he shifts up to his side slightly so he can see me better.

"He's right in the sense that I don't have the best... reputation. Nor do I definitely look the most... approachable. I can be rude, blunt, cold, crude and I definitely don't have the best temper. And you know about what I have done in the past. I have barely fifty pounds in my bank account. And there's no guarantee I can give you a great future with me. And you... you're so perfect, Niall. You're so loving, so pure, so strong-willed, so golden. You deserve someone so much better, someone as golden as you. So I get that he only wants someone who is just as perfect as you. And-"

"Harry." I cut him off with a deep sigh, reaching up to let my fingers trail over his jaw before my fingers tangle in his hair at the nape of his neck.

"I'm honestly so tired of hearing that. Hearing you say that you aren't good enough for me. If I thought the same, I wouldn't be fighting so hard for you to be mine, Harry. I wouldn't be fighting so hard for us." His features soften before he puffs out a breath of air, fitting his cheek into my palm gently.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, pressing a small kiss to my palm. "I don't want to seem like I'm not doing anything for us because it's anything but. I love you, Niall, so much. I just wish things could be easy between us, smooth sailing. But it's just..." he stops himself, his eyes drifting away just for a second to think over his words.

"It's just how messed up everything is at the moment. With my own family, my old pack, fuck, my old pack. Especially Jed and Justin. They're obviously mad at me. And I don't want you getting caught in the cross-fire." He says exasperatedly, running a hand through his hair, letting my hand drop down to my lap. His eyes are glassy with tears, but he refuses to let them fall.

I sit myself up proper so I'm at eye level with him. "But... you broke from the pack, haven't you?" I ask tentatively.

He runs his hands over his face in frustration, before tugging on his hair.

"Yeah.. but thing is, before I broke from the pack, I kind of reported them to the police. I don't know what their sentences were. I don't know if they were caught, I left Cheshire right after I sold them out. But I suppose they did because I never heard from Justin or even Jed after I left." Realisation settles into his features. "And, side track a little, you went into your first heat when you were 17 right?" He asks.