Golden Heart n.s

28. Scared of Love

Yayyy surprise!! But this may turn out to be a pretty short chapter haha, so, so sorry in advance x

NIALL

I stare at him from afar, my heart clenching as I watch him silently pull on his shirt then drinking a quick gulp of water.

He turns around, his eyes catching mine, and as usual, it makes my heart skip a beat. But just as fast as he sees me, he's looking away just as quick.

I bite back the burning tears, before finally tearing my gaze away from him.

Maybe Louis was right. Maybe being in love with Harry, is probably only going to cause me heartache more than anything.

"You're in love with me?" He asks lowly, an unreadable expression on his face as he studies me.

"Uh... yeah?" I mutter dumbly, a hot blush searing at my cheeks and staining them red in embarrassment.

He clears his throat softly, an unreadable expression on his face as he nods slowly.

"Oh." He mutters, then shatters my heart by simply turning around and heading out of the kitchen with a blank look on his face.

My heart aches as I stare at the entrance of the kitchen, feeling the brewing tears in my eyes. Great. Literally a minute ago, I was just telling Louis that I trust Harry enough that he won't hurt me. Guess I spoke too soon.

I turn back to Louis, to see a sympathetic look on his face. But I didn't want sympathy.

I rip off the apron around my waist, telling Louis to pass on the message to Kelly that I'm not feeling too well, before dashing out of the cafe in both heartache and embarrassment.

Honestly, I didn't expect him to say it back. But deep down, I was hoping he would just smirk in amusement, then walk over to me while Louis headed out so we can make out on the table top.

But I guess you don't always get what you want.

So here we are, three days later— Harry refusing to even look at me.

I understand though. I would too, if I was him. Because Harry is someone who has built up skyscraper, steel hard walls around his heart. He has had bad experience with love. Not from any partner that I know of, but from his family. Especially from his Father. So it's only natural that the whole concept of love scares him, and he's definitely afraid of letting others loving him.

But here's the problem, even after knowing that he has commitment issues, that he has a hard time loving, I still fell. Because you can't choose who you fall in love with. And I fell for him. Hard.

I thought I could tear down his walls, no matter how tough and tall they were. I thought I could teach him how to love. Guess I thought wrong... because now, he's refusing to even look me in the eye just because I admitted that I love him. And I didn't even bloody admit it to him, dammit. Why did he have to bloody eavesdrop, that damn busybody twat.

He himself said he doesn't do relationships, but he still asked me out on a date, and he told me I was worth it and I believed him. I thought he was willing to try for me. Guess not.

Ha, I scoff at my own thoughts.

I mean, what was I thinking? Why would he suddenly change his opinions on relationships just for me? That's right, he wouldn't. Not for me anyway.

It pains me to say this, but Harry, is probably just another stupid ego bursting alpha that doesn't care about anyone's feelings. He strung me along, made me feel, like, really feel that he liked, maybe even loved me back. All the times we laughed, kissed (and more), all the times he took care of me, made sure I was okay, always ensuring I wasn't in any pain, all the times he sang to me, the one time he told me that I was worth it... was everything just a lie?