Chasing Summer

Chapter 17.

Ok so I have become a seriously slow uploader, I'm sorry! Exams are now over and I will have more time to write. I am going on holiday tomorrow though so no updates for about a week, this chapter wasnt really finished so sorry for any mistakes but I thought i should update before I left. So that's about it, hope you like it and feedback is appreaciated! 

Chapter 17.

The night was a restless one, even with Chase’ arms wrapped tightly around me and his warm breath on my neck. I didn’t really sleep, I just lay there the same thoughts running through my head like a broken record. I knew Chase wasn’t sleeping either, his breathing was even and we lay perfectly still but every once in a while his hand would run gently up and down my arm or he would kiss the top of my head. It didn’t really cross my mind that there was a boy in my bed or that my aunt was asleep down the hall blissfully unaware of what the night had brought. My thoughts were too busy to even think about that, my head was too consumed with thoughts of Livvie, I knew I had been a good sister too her, I had tried anyway. But there was still a feeling that I hadn’t really thought what this must be like for her, I knew we were going through the same emotions and we were both in the same situation but there was a still a difference. Not just in age but with the people we surrounded ourselves with, Livvie spent her summer days with either Violet or the little girl she had befriended, the little girl with both parents still alive and family meals together every night. She stayed there a lot and it hurt me to realise the things she must feel when she sits around the table with them, her and the happy family. Violet could hurt worse, every expression, every word, every laugh reminded us of our mom, her eyes and the way they lit up when she smiled or laughed. That was life day in and day out for Livvie, but I had an escape, I had Lily, Nate, the reverend, and most of all I had Chase, the boy with the dysfunctional yet seemingly happy family, the boy with the smirk and the bright blue eyes. The boy that could make me smile with just a touch, or a glance my way, the boy that came to my house every night and stayed with me all night when I didn’t want to be alone. The boy that I couldn’t help realising was perfect in almost every way. But my sister didn’t have him or anyone like him, and I needed to be there for her, I had finally started to feel happy again and I got so caught up in the feeling that I forgot that Livvie was still grieving too. It was nights like these when I realised I probably think too much but still can’t manage to shake them away, lying awake in the dark is one of the best ways to send yourself crazy, the over thinking and the sheer ignorance of time. But it would be light soon and then I would have to go back to reality, when I would have to talk to Livvie and probably lose that new found happy feeling which I had grown used to far too quickly. I know it sounds selfish but happiness is such a great feeling after all, and sometimes life can pass by and you forget to feel it.

As if breaking through my thoughts the dim light in the room got that little bit brighter and warned us that morning was coming

“Summer?” I heard Chase whisper from behind me, I sighed at the comforting sound of his voice and leaned back in to his warm chest, I murmured in response and felt his arms tighten around me “I was hoping you might of fallen asleep” he whispered resting his head gently on top of mine. I closed my eyes finally feeling the sore scratchy feeling from lack of sleep; I shook my head and heard him sigh

“I’ll have to go soon” I frowned and opened my eyes, I turned around to face him and buried my head in to his chest breathing in his familiar and soothing scent “unless Violet is completely cool with me being in your bed” I laughed and prodded him in the chest lightly with my finger

“No way, I guess you’re right” I replied simply still not feeling completely ready for complex sentences “what time is it?” I asked not really wanting the answer, like when you ask someone to help you with a decision even though you already know which option you are going to choose.