Dragon Tongue

2 - Years of Therapy Probably Won't Help Me At This Point

"Blane, what are you doing?" My dad's nervous voice echoed off the walls.

Kill them. That was all I could hear. My heart was pumping, adrenaline was rushing through me. I had replaced my fork with the knife on the table.

I- I could see the fear in my parents' eyes. And, in the moment, it was almost... pleasurable. Their lives were at my fingertips. I could smell the blood that was about to be spilt. And- and I... I liked it. 

Kill them. My mouth crept into a small smile as I leapt at them, knife jabbing into the wall behind as they screamed and stepped aside. 

"Blane, stop! What are you doing?!" My mom screamed as I pinned her to the floor, knife to her throat. Tears fell from her blue eyes. 

"k-kill... t-them..." I repeated.

I brought the knife up, about to sweep it down, but my dad caught my arm, twisted it behind me, and pinned me on the ground. 

I struggled against him, I was getting restless. It was getting restless. 

Kill them. Kill them. Kill them.

My breathing only grew more rapid. I was screaming, gnashing, trying to break free. The thoughts wouldn't go away, it wouldn't stop. I was slamming my head against the floor. 

Eventually I passed out.

When I woke up, I was laying in my bed. I tried to sit up, but I couldn't. I was tied down. 

My parents stood next to the door. They looked terrified. My dad's blond hair was really messy, blood stained his forehead. My mom's cheek was cut, her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail to prevent it from getting in her face.

"Mom? Dad? What happened?" 

"What happened? That's what I would like to ask! You just tried to murder us!" My dad turned from scared to angry.

"I-" My eyes widened. "That wasn't me-"

"Enough of that," My mom said. "I need a real answer."

"I- I don't have an answer. All I know is that there was... voices..."

"Voices?" 

"Yeah, I- I can't explain it. Mom, there's something wrong with me," I pleaded, "I need help. It's getting worse. Why am I like this? What is going on?"

My mom gave me a death stare. "Try not to kill your therapist."

"What?"

"And that is the story of how I made a bomb using only a pencil, a match, and my teacher's dead lizard."

"Hmm... I'm not going to lie, that's impressive, but I think what you're saying is that you are deprived of attention."

Cue me rolling my eyes. 

"I don't see how therapy is going to help solve my problem, it doesn't seem to be a therapeutic type of issue, y'know?"

"What problem?"

I gave him a look of are-you-kidding-me? "Have you not been listening to me?"

"Oh that problem."

This guy doesn't seem very good at his job. 

"Blane, was it? You seem like a good kid. But you're doing the wrong things to be noticed-"

"I-I'm not really trying to get attention-"

"You said at school you were and outsider, an outcast, as you put it. What do you mean by that?"

I froze. "Uh, I don't know, I-"

"They don't treat you well? You are always viewed in a negative light by your peers, and you want to feel special, correct."

I didn't answer. This guy was driving me insane.

"Tell me about some of your instances at school."

I sighed. Why did my life have to fall apart like this?

"Well, I guess I'll start with Julian. I have my fair share of jerks, but he takes the cake for the biggest one. Anyway, I don't want to talk about him right now, I want to know why. It started out with such small little things, everyone shrugged it off saying it was normal to have thoughts like that. Why is it escalating? What is wrong with me?!"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

I sighed and looked away. "Am I never going to get an answer?" I mumbled as I stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"Away. You were right about one thing: I don't belong."

"Your parents will be back to pick you up after this session, which ends in about 10 minutes. They won't be happy to see you gone." He tried.

It felt like someone twisted the knife that was already struck in my heart when my mother gave me that look of hate. I did my best to hold my voice steady as I quietly muttered, "They wouldn't be happy to see me at all."

I was walking the street when I ran into someone on accident. 

"Well, well, if it isn't Blane Palmer."

"Speak of the devil..." I whispered to myself, as I picked myself up. "What are you doing here, Julian?"

He smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know? So tell me, you out here by yourself?" He looked around for my parents.

"'Wouldn't you like to know'." I raised an eyebrow.

"Using my phrase against me... Aren't you feeling bold today."

"And you seem rather calm."

"Yeah, well, let's say, I'm in a good mood. That's the only reason you still have all your limbs."

I got a good look at him. Julian's a tall guy, he has black hair, big build, brown eyes, and he was wearing a green sweatshirt.

"Look, Julian, this isn't really the best time, do you think we can do this little 'standoff, come-back battle' later?"

"Aaaand the boldness is gone. It's a shame. Do you want my calm to go away, as well? I can do that. Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?"

"I'm afraid that if I stick around any longer I won't be the one losing the limb..." I mumbled a little too loudly to myself.

"Oh, is that so? Glad to see that the 'bold' hasn't completely vanished. Tell you what, I'm in good mood, as I had told you, so i'll let you go. 'Julian is the best' is all you got to say."

"Julian, I don't have time-"

"-aw, c'mon, it can't be that hard to tell the truth! Here," he came over and put an arm on my shoulder. "I'll say it right along with you."

"Please, don't touch me-"

"Ready?"

I don't know what came over me, but my teeth latched onto his arm, I could feel my heart beating faster. I felt wild, almost savage. It was like I had this need for blood that I had to satisfy. And in that moment, my mind went wild. I clenched down, tearing his flesh, blood splattered, covering his arm, splashing onto my face. It was... It was... pleasurable... 

I jolted back into reality, immediately letting go.

Only now could I hear the screams. Guilt and fear washed over me. Julian fell to his knees, clutching his torn and bloodied arm. 

"S-stay away from me..." I was breathing heavy, I was scared, I was... a monster.

"Yeah... I got that..." Julian's voice was full of panic. "You stay away from me."

And with that I ran. Behind me I could hear Julian as he said to himself, "He'll pay for this."