It's Complicated

01

I yawn as I look down at my phone buzzing.

I step outside my house and lock up just as the old ford truck pulls up. It's really old, enough that the white paint is chipped, the door squeaks annoyingly when you open it, and the seat has tears in the leather with some of the inner cushion coming out. But this old beat up truck has a special place in my heart. Just like its owner.

Park Jimin and I have been best friends since elementary. We got along so well, that often times people confused us for siblings. I'd stay over at his house and he'd stay over at mine. We have been inseparable.

So now it's second nature for me to see him first thing in the morning. And for my heart to be jumping around all crazily in my chest. I've gotten used to it in the the past two years of realizing I was in love with him.

And I've become so good at hiding it deep down inside.

"Morning Buttercup," he groaned, sleep clinging to the corners of his eyes.

"G'morning Sunshine."

"Mm. Sleep good?"

"Mm."

I rested my head back against the seat and turned to look out the window. The sun was on its way up, creating heavenly beams in the blue-ish haze around the city. It was always a favorite of mine. It's so calming. I used to take pictures of the sky and the sunrise, but realized it was taking too much storage on my phone, so I stopped.

He put his arm on the back of the long seat bed and barely reached my head. I turned my head at his touch and stared. We were quiet as he scratched my head lightly. I naturally leaned more into his hand and closed my eyes to the sensation. We sat comfortably in the silence; too used to being together and not feeling obligated to talk. True peace.

If I could take a picture of this moment I would. But I don't.

Arriving at school, we were like most others, dragging our feet as we entered the old building. But once we get inside, Jimin heads towards the Senior side of the school, and I head towards the Junior side. I used to linger a little bit to watch him leave. But it's been a few months since I've stopped. Because I don't like seeing him being greeted by his girlfriend Seulgi.

If I could run down the hallway and push her away from him I would. But I don't.

I just opt to ignore the big nasty monster of jealousy and go into my class and wait for the day to start, and thus begin another long and boring day of highschool.

But I at least have two moments that help me get through the day.

The first is entering Choir and seeing Jimin. Hearing him sing is just as heavenly as the morning sun just a few hours ago. He's a favorite of our director and often gets the solos. No one complains though, because we're all in love with his voice.

And the second thing that helps me through the day is going off campus for lunch with Jimin. I was lucky enough that this semester Seulgi had a different lunch from us. It was in part that we had choir together and she was in something else. But either way, it meant more time to have Jimin to myself.