It's Complicated

07

After that Sunday afternoon with Jungkook, it became a lot easier to deal with him at school. I wasn't making it my life's mission to ignore him anymore. We talk like normal in class, but I do avoid him a bit in the hallways. Who wants the drama of being around him and having gossip spread?

I know it's unfair, but he said he understood. But even if we don't talk outside of AP Chemistry, we've still been texting each other.

So as it stands, Jungkook and I are good acquaintances I'd say. Calling him a friend just seems weird. Even though I've gotten to know him a lot better, I just can't bring myself to close that gap between us.

Because for as long as I can remember (well, since the start of high school in fact), I always saw him as that guy. The guy who makes a bunch of racket in the cafeteria with his friends. The guy who bullies weaker kids (although I can't recall it ever being him doing the bullying and only his buddies). And the same kind of guy who was just generally a jerk and got everything he wanted being at the top of the food chain. So seeing him as a nerdy guy with Daddy issues and a handful of complexes that matches mine, makes my world shift in crazy ways I never expected.

It's not necessarily bad or good, but just crazy.

And it makes me feel weird and squirmy inside. So it goes without saying that Jimin has picked up on this.

It's been a few weeks since the weekend that Jungkook and I got closer, when he cried on my shoulder and then came over to my Mom's. And since then, Jimin has seemed to be acting strange. He hasn't talked to me as much, doesn't laugh as much, and seems to want to say something but never does.

This particular lunch break though, he seems to finally let go. He doesn't even start the truck, and just opts to sit there without moving.

"What's going on with you lately?"

"What," I asked, caught off guard as I look up from my phone.

He looked over to see I was texting someone, but couldn't see who. He frowned, "For the past few weeks you've been acting different."

"No I haven't," I said defensively.

"Yes you have Y/N." He turned towards me and talked to me sternly, "You hardly text me back anymore, but I can see you're texting just fine." He saw my phone light up and it made him angry, "You always seem distracted now. And I've barely seen you."

"Aww~ does Jiminie miss me," I asked as I tried to joke.

"I'm being serious Y/N."

And suddenly my heart dropped and I looked down, "I've just been busy..."

"Busy with what?"

I was starting to get agitated with the way he was coming at me, but I kept my cool. "I'm busy with school obviously; projects and tests... And I already told you I've been dealing with my mom and her new boyfriend."

"Bullshit."

"What," I asked defensively and a little hurt.

"If it was all that, you'd have no problem telling me about it and complaining." He turned back to face forward and put his hands on the steering wheel, "All you ever do is complain about everything, and suddenly you have nothing to say to me?"

I felt like crying, because he's never talked to me like this before. And it's breaking my heart. "Jimin, what the fuck? Do you really mean that?"

He could hear the hurt in my voice, but he couldn't seem to stop, "Are you seeing someone? And you didn't even tell me?"

"W-why are you even asking me this? W-What does it matter? Huh?!" And I lost the control. My tears poured out, just as my feelings did. "Why does it matter if I'm seeing someone or not?! You haven't once heard me cry and whine about you dating! Even though I've wanted too, I never said anything bad to you!!"

He turned towards me and panicked on the inside that I was crying. But his pride didn't seem to let him stop. "I never said it was bad for you to see someone. Don't put words in my mouth Y/N! I'm just saying, you've never hidden stuff from me before. And now it seems that's all you do!"

"I don't have to tell you everything going on in my life Jimin! Besides-" Jungkook's crying and his body in my arms suddenly popped into my head, "It's not like it's my business to tell you."

"So you are hiding something! I knew it!"

"And what's the big deal?! So what if I am!"

He scooted forward in the seat as he yelled some more, "The big deal is that I'm supposed to be your best friend, and we don't have any secrets from each other!"

"Well this secret is important to someone else, so I can't just go and tell you," I wiped at my face and pushed my hair away.

That seemed to push his buttons even more, "Ohh, someone else? Someone else is more important than me? Is it Jungkook?"

"Yes! It's Jungkook! Is that what you wanted to hear?!"

He scoffed, "I don't get it. Did you suddenly fall for his looks or something? Because I see you looking at him."

"First of all, he's my partner in chemistry, so of course I've been talking to him. And second of all, screw you!"

"Oh I get it! You're just like all the other girls."

I was getting so pissed off by his tone of voice, so condescending, as if I was just a dumb girl with a crush. I pushed my body closer in my anger, "Quit acting like a dumbass jealous boyfriend when we aren't even in that type of relationship!! You're just a friend Jimin! So get off my back!!"

All anger and pain got put on hold as he suddenly closed the distance between us. He reached out to cup my face as he pressed his lips to mine in a heated kiss. His breathing was coming out loud from his nose as he opened his mouth to kiss me with his tongue.
As an automatic response, I opened my mouth a little to mirror his kiss, giving him the opportunity to deepen the passionate pleasure between us. He tilted his head the opposite way to swirl his tongue with mine. And I couldn't help the small moan escaping between our kiss.

But as if his brain started working again after ten long seconds of making out, he quickly pulled away and stared at my face. I was breathing heavily and shaking. He was too, but more so in shock. For me, I felt so confused and heartbroken. Because I never imagined my first kiss with Jimin would be like this. I didn't want it to be like this.

".....why..... Did you....." I couldn't seem to finish the question, but he already knew what I was asking.

He just lowered his hands slowly to lay in my lap. It was then that he noticed that he had pulled me so close that I was in fact sitting in his lap. He pulled away and sat facing forward as his eyes stayed wide. His voice was empty of emotion as he answered.

"I don't know..."

"Asshole..." I muttered with more tears.

I got out of his old truck and slammed the door as hard as I could before running back inside of the school.