Paper Luigi: The Waffle Kingdom

Arriving in Waffle

A few hours later, Luigi finally stepped off the boat and out onto the docks. This was it... the hit tourist destination, the Waffle Kingdom. Luigi had only ever heard about it in books and newspapers, and this was his first time ever going there.

He took a moment to take in his surroundings. It was a place bustling with life, and Luigi could see all of the species familiar to him hanging around somewhere.

He looked out along the horizon. The Mushroom Kingdom was nowhere to be found, nor were there any other areas to be found, either. The kingdom was an island all by itself.

There were market stands scattered all around the docks, selling souvenirs and local delicacies. Luigi could smell the fresh scent of waffles coming from somewhere. "That smells about right for the Waffle Kingdom," Luigi chuckled to himself.

Luigi decided to track down the source of the delicious aroma. He eventually found the waffle stand. "Waffles! Get the kingdom's delicious trademark waffles! Come up and get your first one half price!" shrieked the Pianta behind the stand.

Luigi felt his stomach rumbling even at the mention of the kingdom's signature food. If the whole place was named after them then they had got to be very tasty.

"Oh, go on then," said Luigi to himself, unable to withstand the temptation any longer. He approached the stall. "I'll have one of your waffles, please." Luigi asked the Pianta in charge.

"Certainly, sir! Would you like chocolate sauce or maple syrup on that?" the Pianta inquired.

"Oh, um, both!" exclaimed Luigi, before slapping his head as he realized how rude that was. "S-Sorry, that was rude of me, sir," he stammered.

"Nonsense! Of course you're allowed both!" bellowed the Pianta, laughing.

Luigi breathed a sigh of relief. "That'll be 10 Waffle Coins, please." said the Pianta.

Luigi was about to reach into his wallet, before it dawned on him. "I'm so sorry, sir. I'm a tourist from the Mushroom Kingdom... I haven't exchanged my coins yet!" Luigi exclaimed. He let out a sigh.

The Pianta stood there in thought for a moment. "Hey, tell ya what. Just for this first one, it's on the house. So that you can see how tasty our waffles are. Then I can guarantee you'll be coming back and buying loads of waffles here when you get your money sorted out!" the Pianta explained.

"Wow, thank you so much sir!" Luigi exclaimed, extremely grateful. The Pianta handed Luigi the waffle, and Luigi took a bite. But then he froze.

"This... This flavour... So sweet... So fluffy... THIS IS THE BEST WAFFLE I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE!!" screamed Luigi. Everyone in the market stopped and turned to stare at him at once.

"U-Um, sorry, I kind of lost control, there..." said Luigi sheepishly as everyone resumed their previous affairs.

"Haha, don't worry about it! That's the general reaction when someone tastes our waffles for the first time!" said the Pianta.

"Well, you were right, sir... I'm definitely coming back here when I get my money sorted! Speaking of which, can you tell me where the exchange office is, please?" asked Luigi.

The Pianta told him the way to the exchange office, and Luigi said goodbye and made his way there. Inside the office, there was a multitude of people exchanging their foreign cash for Waffle Coins.

After a while, Luigi finally managed to get to the front of the line. "Hello, Alice!" he greeted the bored-looking Koopa behind the counter who had a nametag labelled "Alice" on her shirt.

"You know, even though staff everywhere have to wear these nametags, no one expects you to actually use them." said Alice the Koopa.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's like when a waiter comes to your table and says 'My name's Steve, just give me a shout if you need me', but no one actually calls them Steve." continued Alice the Koopa.

"I do apologize-"

"You know, calling someone by their name implies that you know them somewhat. I've certainly never met you before and if I had I would certainly remember you." Alice the Koopa went on.

"Look, can I please exchange these Mushroom Coins?" interrupted Luigi, finally moving the conversation on.

"Fine. Hand them over to me, please." Alice the Koopa murmured, irritated. Luigi got all his coins out of his wallet and placed them on the counter.

"Let's see, 500 Mushroom Coins in this pile. At the current exchange rates, that amounts to... 5,000,000 Waffle Coins." Alice the Koopa said blandly as if that was nothing remarkable at all.

"WHAT?!" shrieked Luigi. "I'M RICH!!" he screamed, dancing around the room. He again attracted the very confused attention of everyone in the room, except Alice the Koopa who sat there, looking like she'd rather be literally anywhere else.

"Ummmm, sorry." said Luigi for about the fifth time that day. "Err, could you give me 2,000 and put the rest in a bank account, please?"

"If you wish, sir," replied Alice the Koopa, her head resting against her hand in a bored expression. She passed Luigi his 2,000 coins, then went into the back room and piled the remaining 4,998,000 coins into about 10 vaults, each as big as the whole living room of Luigi's house.

"All done, sir. Please leave, as you seem to be holding up the line considerably," said Alice the Koopa with a voice of contempt.

Sure enough, about 20 people were lined up behind Luigi, grumbling to themselves. "O-Of course, I-I'll go now." Luigi stuttered, leaving the office.

After spending about 10 minutes sitting on a bench contemplating the fact that he'd just become a five-times millionaire, he suddenly realized something and jolted up from the bench.

"I completely forgot about the adventure!" exclaimed Luigi. "I've wasted so much time... I need to go and see Mr. Crepe right away and find out what happened!" Luigi reminded himself.

Luigi found a taxi sitting by the side of the road back near the docks. "Can you take me to the castle, please?" Luigi asked the Goomba driving the car.

"Castle Éclair? Certainly, sir, that'll be 50 Waffle Coins," the Goomba replied.

Luigi got the cash out of his wallet. "Here you go- Wait, how the heck are you a taxi driver when you don't have arms?" Luigi asked, dumbfounded.

"Oh, you know, anything's possible in this age of technology, sir," said the Goomba. Luigi began to open his mouth to say something but decided to just let the matter go.

Luigi handed the coins over to the Goomba, and then noticed his nametag. "It's nice to meet you, Goombenny!" said Luigi, undeterred by what happened earlier.

"Why, sir, that's so kind of you! No customer has ever been nice enough to call me by my name!" exclaimed Goombenny, as he started the car up.

"Hah, take that, Alice!" thought Luigi to himself as the taxi finally began its journey to Castle Éclair...