Majestic Book of Randomness

Asking Questions About Myself.

Do you ever just do that?

Just questioning what you are and the choices you've made and what other people think of you? Question whether or not jokes that you make at your own expense are serious or not? Question things that you thought you knew about yourself that are now coming into question? Question whether or not people are disappointed in you, or if you are just looking too much into it? Question whether or not you're good enough? Question whether or not people even want to be around you? I ask myself those questions sometimes. And they'll completely take over my mind and become all that I think about until I find a way to distract myself. And I can't talk to anyone because I'm supposed to be the positive and joking person who is never supposed to have anything wrong with them. People in real life just won't care. I want to talk about it, but people will look at me differently... As if there's something wrong with me. Certain people have such high expectations of me, and I want to make them happy, but I feel like I'm just failing to do so.

I'm not trying to get attention. I just want to get these feelings that I keep bottled up out to people who I think won't judge me and actually listen, and won't immediately think that I'm just scrambling for attention. . I'm not depressed. I'm very happy with the things that I have and am always grateful. But sometimes things get to be too much and you just break.

I'm just making this to vent. Sorry.