I Smell Snow

December 9th

Smoke everywhere. I was coughing and waving a towel in the air frantically. I turned off the stove immediately.

"What the hell?" Your voice called out over the beeping alarm.

Through the cloud of smoke, I noticed your figure walk into the kitchen. "I was trying to make a gingerbread pancakes." I sheepishly shrugged, casting my gaze downwards.

When I least expected it, I felt your firm grip on my waist, hoisting me over your shoulder with a huff. I yelped in shocked, banging on your back as my brown hair fell over my face. You coughed loudly.

"Evangeline, stop. Stay put." You said with a determined look on your face. You plopped me down on the couch and walked back into the kitchen.

Several minutes passed and I kept hearing you cough. I called out in protest, it was my mess. I didn't understand why you wouldn't let me fix it. I ran back into the kitchen, annoyed but you stopped yet again.

Once I heard the constant beeping stop, I released a loud sigh and fell back onto the couch. "You need to stop doing that, clearly you are not okay," I yelled loud enough so you'd hear me from the kitchen.

"Stop what," you mustered between breathes. "Stop doing everything yourself when it's clear this smoke is hard on your lungs. You are always coughing so much. Let me help sometimes okay?"

Your response was silence but I knew you understood where I was coming from.

When I woke up, I realized that we had fallen asleep on the couch together last night. I don't see how we slept so comfortably because I was basically on top of you when I woke. I rolled off gently and plopped onto the floor before I began attempting to make pancakes. Key word on attempt.

The heat rushes to my cheeks just thinking about last night and us practically spooning. I catch myself smiling so widely that I have to put a hand over my mouth to stop myself from being so giddy.

You make me feel like I'm twelve and have a school girl crush. The big type of crush where I would probably etch your name surrounded in a heart all over my diary.

"What's so funny Eva?" You walk in with disheveled dirty blonde hair and a towel in your grip.

"Nothing." I pipe up, replacing my smile with a thin line. I stand up and reach for the towel in your hand. "I could have gotten everything under control." I don't know what came over me right now but I leaned closer and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, a little more towards your jaw line. "But thank you."

As I'm about to walk back into the kitchen you hastily grab my arm and I'm pressed against your warm body. "Theo..." I say, shocked and nervous. I bite my bottom lip as I force myself to look up at you.

"Evangeline..." You mimic me. I notice you start to lower your head and I know you can practically feel my rapid heartbeat.

No.

I place my palm firmly on your chest, interrupting whatever you were about to do. I don't want to think about what you were about to do because if I do, I'll regret stopping you. "Let's go out and get breakfast, if we hurry, we'll miss my mom and she'll never know you spent the night." I rush out before running upstairs, not letting your answer.

I shut my door and lean against it, the cold wind sending shivers up my tan skin. I take a few deep breaths, steading my heartbeat. Shakily, I tie up my hair into a twisted messy bun in order to get it out of my face.

I shimmy out of my clothes and slip on some light washed skinny jeans and a thick woven green and blue flannel.

I trot downstairs. You smile at me. You fixed the living room a bit and were now changed in the same clothes from last night. "Let's go lumberjack." You laugh loudly, dimples springing up.

I shoot you a glare and punch you repeatedly on the shoulder jokingly. "It's just a flannel. And it's warm." I explain, crossing my arms.

You smirk. "Lumberjack. It's cute." The hand closest to my mine reaches and untangles my crossed arms. You intertwined our hands slowly, rubbing your thumb over the backside of my hand.

I bite the inside of my cheek, looking away to keep my blush a secret. I don't know where you got this sudden confidence but I think I like it.

You bring our entwined hands up to your lips, placing a kiss on the back of my hand.

Yeah, I definitely like this confidence.

I'm glad I stopped you from what I think was a kiss because I'm not ready. Not now. I don't know what I'd do if you kissed me back there.

I don't know what my heart would do if you kissed me.