I Smell Snow

December 10th

Your father had come back from his business trip today and I know you were eager to hang out and catch up with him. After all, you hadn't seen him in about two weeks. I wondered if you often got lonely. My dad went on business trips but not as often as your dad did. And while my mom works crazy shifts at the hospital, I always catch her around.

I'm not bragging by any means, I just wonder how you do it. You're a lot stronger than you let on, Theodore.

I was not going to stand in your way either. I was willing to let go of our day today (even though I had a plan to build a snowman. It's ok though, my dad was back too and I missed him dearly.

"Hey pumpkin." The familiar sound of new squeaky slippers approached. My dad placed a kiss on my head and I turned my head slightly, reciprocating the kindness by placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Morning dad. How was your trip?" I ask before getting up and following him into the kitchen. My hands instinctively reach for the coffee pot. I pour myself and my dad a steaming mug of coffee. He takes his black and I take mine with two sugars and a bit of cream. I wish I could down plain black coffee but once the bitter taste hits my tongue, I always spit it out.

"It was good," I pull up a chair. "I heard you've been hanging out with that Theodore boy."

A blush rises up, tinting my cheeks quickly. I look down at my mug, swirling the coffee with a small spoon. "Yeah, I mean you've been gone and moms been working night shifts." The coffee in my mug is forming a small vortex like swirl from my constant stirring. I can feel my dad's gaze on me so I revert my eyes back to his face.

My fingers instinctively reach for my long hair and I begin braiding it. I get anxious sometimes. This causes me to always be doing something to ease my anxiety, such as messing with my hair. I used to pick at my cuticles but my mom would always yell at me because I would draw blood.

"It's funny," my dad chuckles lightly.

"What's funny?"

"He was your first kiss." I almost choke on my hot coffee.

"Dad what are you talking about?" I laugh to ease the embarrassment but inside I am freaking out. Pacing back and forth in my imagination.

"That's right. You don't remember." He's leaving his responses short just to play with my emotions, how tortuous of him.

I remember going to elementary school with Theo but I don't remember much of the details. He missed school a lot and it was so long ago. Memories fade.

And clearly my dad is messing with me.

"Dad, just tell me." I roll my eyes. This is so embarrassing. What daughter wants to talk to their dad about kissing boys? Yet my dad loves to tell embarrassing stories.

"It was your 6th birthday. You made sure Theo was on the invite list. Your mother and I were looking for you two and we found you in the backyard. Just in time to see you kiss Theo. The poor boy turned red as a tomato," he smiled and took a sip of his coffee, shaking his head slightly as he recalled the events. "I guess you both crashed from the sugar rush and it must have faded from your memories. After all, it was 13 years ago."

Just kill me now. Please. I am already mentally digging my own grave.

My dad and I looked the same. Same features except for our distinct eyes. He had brown hair like mine except his eyes were a green instead of hazel.

He's my best friend, my dad is. He's been there to clean up my cuts when I fell off my bike, or motivate me when I fail an exam. And I'm sure he'll be there for me when I experience heartbreak.

My phone vibrates and I set my coffee down, reaching for my phone that resides in my pocket.

Theo: My dad is making me wrap presents for his coworkers :( I'm so bored.

A smile creeps onto my face. You are honestly too adorable, Theo.

Evangeline: lol sounds exciting. I'm drinking coffee.

Theo: in your flannel?

I roll my eyes, aware that you aren't here to see.

Evangeline: no. Go wrap your presents loser

Theo: fine. Miss you lumberjack

"You texting him?" My cheeks heat up.

I revert my focus to my dad. Thin black glasses rest on the bridge of his nose as he reads the news on his phone.

"No..." I trail off, too obvious for my own good.

Theo: also I'm wrapping u a gift

I look down awkwardly, avoiding my dads gaze.

"You are definitely texting him."

"Dad," I groan. "Leave me alone, you're not supposed to thrive off embarrassing me."

He laughs and excuses himself. He's probably going to get dressed and go out to do some work stuff even though it's his off day. Typical dad.

I decide to get dressed. Maybe I'll be able to hang out with you later after you finish helping your dad.

Putting on leggings and, yes, another flannel (this one is my favorite, its a forest green color), I slip on my black booties. I am now ready to start the day, whatever it will bring. As if on cue, my ringtone starts blasting and I dash towards my bed in hopes that it's you.

Incoming call: Mom

"Mom," I say. "I thought you were working at the hospital right now."

"Sweetie," her voice is muffled. "You should come to the hospital."

My brows furrowed in confusion and worry. "Mom, are you ok? Should I call dad?"

"No, Evangeline, it's Theodore."

My phone clatters to the ground, the screen cracking as it hits the wooden floor of my bedroom.