you're the reason. a.i

Prologue.

I always wondered what it felt like to be in love. I always watched romance movies when I was younger. The couples holding hands, locking their lips to eachother, and being happy together without a care in the world. Is love in real life really like it is in the movies? Love is such a big but little word. It's a small word with so much meaning. But what is love exactly? Is it the way someone treats you and cares for you? Or is it just some word people just put out there like it has no meaning?

But I've always had another question. What does it mean to be in love? Is that saying the same thing as 'I love you?' Being in love or loving someone seems rather magical. Well, it seems like it is in movies anyways. The idea of having someone to hold you when you're down, to share your biggest secrets with, to care for you like you mean the world to them. The thought of that could make anyone happy. What is love exactly? Or being in love? Everyone has a different meaning to Love.

Love can be a beautiful thing. Love is something everyone, well, mostly everyone, hopes to have when they get older. It's something that is so rare but so beautiful at the same time. Love is like being hungry or thirsty, only it's alot more powerful than hunger or thirst. Think about it. When you're hungry or thirsty, you rely on food and drinks to keep you alive and fulfill your needs. It's like a chemistry almost, only it's not permanent. Love is the same way. You rely on that one person to care for you and love you, and protect you and all those other things that one person is suppose to do. It's a chemistry you have with one person, only it never goes away.

Love is having someone always there for you, no matter how many times you screw up. Having someone to protect you, like you were a hollywood super star and they were the secruity guards. To keep away all the demons that haunt you at night. To hold you when your world comes crashing down on you. To look at you the way they fell for you the first time they laid their eyes on you. Love is also a deep connection you have with someone. Physically and emotionally.

However, love can be an evil and ugly thing. While some people believe in love, and say it's the most beautiful thing ever, others don't believe in it. An ugly love is when you don't really love someone. Or one person in the relationship does. While the other one, cheats on, or abuses the one they so call 'love.'

Many people describe being in love as a very magical, fairy tale like, kind of feeling. When that one person laughs, or talks, and it's your favorite sound to hear. No matter how many times you're with that one person you get this bubbly sensation inside your stomach, and it feels like butterflies are flying all around. It's really everything you can ever think or dream of. It's the way that person dresses, or the way they hold a cup of coffe. It's the way how incredibly talented and smart they are. It's how they look when the first wake up, to the way they look before they go to bed.

After all this time, I always wondered what it was like being in love. Whether it would be a good or bad thing. After taking into consideration I finally found my answer. I am indeed in love. And my being in love is a good and bad thing. 

The one I love loves me back, but he's also the one that haunts my dreams at night.