you're the reason. a.i

Chapter 12.

Ashton's POV

I've never understood the concept of life. Life is a very tricky, unfair and confusing thing. It's kind of like a never-ending jigsaw puzzle. You are constantly trying to put all the pieces together to see how they fit together. Some pieces are bigger than others, all of them are shaped differently, and some are a little deeper than others. As soon as you think you've figured out the puzzle of life, there's more pieces added making the puzzle more challenging and making it bigger. Life is an endless puzzle that no one ever can figure out. You go through shit all the time. You go through tragic things, that bring you down like an anchor. You go through radiant things, that make you feel like you're on top of the world. And all of those events, make up your puzzle otherwise known as your story. Whether it's a very dark puzzle, or a sunshine filled puzzle.

But I still don't understand why all of these events make indvidual puzzle pieces that all come together to make one big picture. Why do we all go through these tragic things? Or happy things? Well, the answer to that is very simple. We all go through these unexpected things to teach us a lesson, to make us stronger, or to just add a piece to our continuous puzzle. But why does life have to be so confusing?

You are constantly making decisions. It could be little decisions like whether or not you want to tell your crush you like them. Or it could be a little decision like saying yes or no to the guy who asked you out, Or it could be big decisions like taking someone off of life support, or choosing to go to college 5,000 miles away from home. It's a constant battle of emotions and a constant decision making process.
However, every decison you make, has a different outcome no matter what way you chose to do. That boy who asked you out, if you say yes, you have two main possible results. He could be the one, the one you marry and want to spend the rest of your life with. (Which is more than likely not the case, but it could be.) Or you guys could break up. Along with other results, he himself or you could cheat on one or the other. One of you could die, (I hope that doesn't happen if you're having this problem, but it's a possibility.) Or one of you could move 1,000 miles away. Making you decide if you should continue the relationship or not. Then, there's the possibility of you deciding not to date him. There could be several results out of that decision. He could get a girlfriend, and you realize what you turned down, and feel horrible about it. Or you could notice how bad of a boyfriend he is. And you be happy with the decision you made. But there's plenty more outcomes out of it.

Do you see what I mean? Life is a constant decision making process. And every outcome is different. And every decision you make has atleast 3 different outcomes that could happen. So, how do you really know what decision to make? You don't honestly. You can take the decision you want to take the most. Or you can follow your gut, trust it, and take that decision. And in my case, I don't really know what to trust or what decision to take.
I lost my trust to anything and everyone along time ago. It seems like everything that's close to me, decides they can play around with my trust and just throw it out the window. Luckily, I have 3 best friends who I can somewhat trust.

Michael Clifford, a tall, Australian guy who constantly dyes his hair. Calum Hood, an asian looking man, who is also tall and has great hair, and puffy cheeks. And last but not least, Luke Hemmings. The better looking out of all of us. Luke is a tall, Australian guy with tall blonde hair and a lip piercing. We are all very tall, but Luke is the tallest out of all of us.

Now, I normally tell my best friends everything, but this thing I don't really want to tell them. I also don't really know what this thing is. So how can I possibly tell them? I guess I'll just let my thoughts consume every part of my brain until it takes me to a nut house. There's this new girl at school, Zoey Parker to be exact. Everyone knows who she is, and it's only been one day of school. Of course, I don't really care about her. But she has me feeling some kind of way, and I can't figure out what it is. She's one of the preps, and I hate preps. I hate them with a passion. Whether they are the nice ones or the mean ones, I hate them. They get everything they want in life and they never have anything bad happen to them.