words i could never say

the things i wish i had said: 2.5

after two weeks,
you tried to call me.
I didn't answer because I was so nervous.
you said you needed to finally apologize.
and I told you to wait until I was home.
so it can be personal and not on text.
you chatted with me normally,
as if everything was calm.
but the storm was still raging.
you said let's call tomorrow,
and I waited.
and waited.
on the floor, waiting for this apology.
this buried apology..
the apology I thought would make some clearness of things.
the apology that could release all this guilt and sadness.
but it never came.

                                     2018
i thought of sending an anonymous message.
a message that could let scabs heal,
but I realized that talking to you would just make me pick at them.