@socialmedia | a.i

Chapter Thirty Three - Party

God the music was loud, I could barely hear my thoughts anymore. Drunken bodies stumbling around the massive house, blocking my view of the exit.

I had hardly seen the boys tonight, which made sense as they were celebrating with everyone else. As much as I love socialising and meeting new people, tonight was different.

I sudently felt overwhelmed by everything that was happening. I couldn't breathe.

My eyes rapidly scanned over the crowd, looking for Ashley or anyone that could help me. My efforts were in vain as I only met the stare of complete strangers.

Searching through my phone with shaky hands, I realised that I had no signal.

"Alright Thea. You can do this." I tried to convince myself. After a deep breath I started to make my way around, looking for an exit.

After what felt like three hours, I finally found myself in the garden. I came across a tree and sat down with my head in my hands.

I hated when this happened. I knew everything was fine. I knew that I would be fine. And that tomorrow I'll just think this was all a god damn joke. But I couldn't get rid of this feeling of drowning.

I could hear the faint noise of a party in the backround, but it felt so far away right now. Reality felt so far away.

"Thea ?" I looked up, trying to figure out who the voice belonged to. "Oh my god Thea you're crying"

Ashton quickly knelt down in front of me and placed both of his massive hands of either side of my head.

"What's wrong ?" He asked with an edge in his voice "Thea please tell me what's wrong".

"I.... I can't breathe" I was full on sobbing right now. God I was pathetic.

Without sparing a second, Ashton pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. My head was now nuzzled into his neck as his hands rubbed up and down my back.

"I'm sorry" I said after a couple of minutes of silence. "I'm really sorry I bothered you. This is your night and I-" I didn't have time to finish my sentence that he already cut me off.

"Don't you dare apologise. You're my priority here. Not the party. And you're obviously not doing too great if you're sitting all alone in the garden while having a panic attack. And the party sucks anyway. Everyone is drunk and I don't even know a quater of the people there. I was just coming to find you and then I was going to leave."

"Thank you, Ash" I answered quietly. I was more than thankful, but I could hardly form a sentence properly.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

anxiety, depression, and any other mental illness sucks.
i send all my love to anyone that's ever suffered, or is suffering with mental illness. even if you just had an anxiety attack once, or on a daily basis, my heart goes out to you.
things will look up for you. i promise.
lots of love,
lily x

(ps : my dm's are open to whoever needs to talk, or want to talk)