Strolson Twins

Chapter Whateverthefucknumber (Softball and Spiked Drinks)

Well, I'm going to start this out with Fuck you Asher. You leave me all the hard parts. 

There. I've said my piece. To the story.

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Alex's POV

Ashley, the lunatic, smacked the living crap out of the poor smoke alarm that was just trying to do its job. Then, she left. Just like that. Leaving mixed feelings and an abused glove in her wake. 

Asher didn't seem to have caught any of that. His eyes were stuck on the glove that lay, abandoned, on the floor. I could literally hear the gears in his head turning.

I patted him on the back. "Don't think to hard. You'll make yourself sick."

He didn't even flinch at my wit.

"Hey, Lexi," he said.

Lexi looked up. "Eh?"

"Ellendale have a baseball park?"

"Yeah. Why?" 

Asher smiled creepily. "I know what I want to do today, Ferb."

Yuliet smirked and a now girmless Danny chimed in. "Hey, where's Peri?"

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"Okay, so what are we doing?" Yuliet asked, her tone pensive.

Asher and Lexi shared an evil grin. The exact same fucking grin. Seriously. When do these creepers find time to practice doing stuff in unison? Do they do it just to freak me out? If so, they are succeeding.

"We're going to play softball," said Lexi.

"Softball," Asher echoed.

Danny smirked. "That explains why we're at the baseball field."

Yuliet nodded, taking no notice in her little brother's sarcasm. I genuinly think that she didn't know that this was a ball field. 

"Lexi! Lexi! Lexi! You still have that key?" Ashley was literally jumping up and down, her voice sounding like a five-year-old that was just handed a puppy and told to name it.

Lexi's eyes light up. "Nope!" She sounded so happy that I thought it was a good thing.

Judging by Danny's, Breanna's and Yuliet's sighs, it wasn't. Lucky for me, Asher seemed to have thought it was a good thing too. 

I'm not the only one that is always confused! 

"Then how are we going to play if we don't have the equipment to play?" Cole complained. 

Lexi looked crestfallen and Ashley looked downright defeated. They both started crying. I momentarily freaked out. Then Lexi was struck with inspiration. 

"To Village Variety!" she shoved her fist in the air.

Ashley put her hands on her hips, turned her face to the sky, and laughed aloud. "Lexi! You redeemed yourself!"

"Why thank you, Jen!" she shouted at her friend, still standing with her fist in an 'up' position. 

"You're welcome, Sherlock!" Ashley yelled back. 

"No, you're welcome, Watson 2," Lexi shouted.

"No, no, no, no. NO. You are welcome. Jacquelyn," Ashley yelled out emphasis on each word.

"Nay. I no tink so. (her words, not mine) You. YOU. ARE. WELCOME." It was really hard to tell if she was mad or not.

"The one is is fucking welcome here, is you. YOU MOFO!" she shouted.