I won't sleep
if that's what it takes
to not wake up
as myself
Casey Renee Kiser, Hold Me Under: Poems to Drown to
In my dreamland, all I ever dream about is her.
I dream about everything she has done to me, everything she made me do. And later on, the things I did without her knowledge.
I'm dreaming about how it all had began. Or maybe it had begun long ago since that particular incident. Maybe it began the moment I was out of her womb and got declared as her child.
I was hers. She owned me. She brought me into this world, so she was allowed to do anything with me.
And how could I argue? She was right after all.
She is right.
Or maybe this is one of those many things she had taught me to believe.
That day, without any hesitation, was the best of my life. That was the first gift she had ever given to me. And oh, was she beautiful.
My beautiful little parrot, Enzo.
I was ready to do anything for her. She was mine, I owned her. But unlike maman, I didn't hurt Enzo. I played with her, listened to her complaints, tried my best to fix them.
Can you buy food for her?
I'd run to the pet store with her card. I didn't like using it for something that's mine, and promised myself I'd return the money when I grow up.
Can you clean her cage?
yes!
Give her a bath?
Yes!
Feed her?
Sure!
But she'd bite you.
Will she?
She'd hurt you.
No! She wouldn't!
She wants to hurt you, my dear.
No, no, she doesn't.
She wants you dead, sweetheart. Like everyone else. She wants to see you cry.
B-But why... w-why?
Because you have maman, she doesn't.
B-But...
You have maman, Enya. Never forget that.
My nightmares start with maman, they end with her. And everything in between would contain everything she has done to me, everything she made me do, and the things I did without her consent.
Enzo was the most beautiful animal I've ever seen. Her fresh green silky feathers, navy blue head, blood red beak - she was a mix of beauty and peace, childish and maturity, and I loved her.
Do you love her, my dear?
Yes, yes, I do!
Do you love her more than you?
Yes!
More than maman?
...
YOU ARE READING
CLICHÈ || Knb《Akashi Seijuro》
Fanfiction[Highest ranking: #1 in abusivelove] Love heals. But sometimes it kills too. - A.N: Not your usual knb fanfic, nor do you have to watch Kuroko No Basuke to read this. That being said, this book contains immature metaphors, psychotic thoughts and men...
