northern downpour

drunk [ernestine x andrei]

angsty bc i feel like shit lol 

also crappy writing

***

"Please, stay."

"I-I'm sorry."

"Tin, please. I'm begging you."

"I can't, Andrei. I can't anymore. I'm sorry."

"Caracut!" Someone shouted in his face, jolting him back to reality. He took in the scene he was currently in. Music blasting, bodies dancing, drinks pouring.

His teammates were celebrating the victory of another tough season, but here he was wallowing in his own miserable thoughts.

He instinctively reached for his bottle of beer and downed the remaining contents, ignoring the questioning look of his teammates.

"Seriously, Drei. What's wrong?" Their team captain and his good friend, Kib asked.

"Tell me what's wrong, Tin. Please, let's fix it."

What's wrong. How many times did he ask her what was wrong? How many times did he beg her to help him fix whatever was wrong? How many times did he ask her for another chance?

He shook his head. "Nothing." He muttered under his breath, before grabbing an unopened bottle of beer.

"There's nothing wrong, Andrei. It's just... over."

Nothing. She said there was nothing wrong, but she left everything they ever had because of nothing. Years of togetherness over because of nothing. Him desperately drowning himself with alcohol because of nothing.

His friend looked like he had more to say, but opted to close his mouth. He didn't miss the look Kib gave to their other teammates though.

He popped open the still cold bottle in his hand and downed almost half of its content in one go.

"Caracut, slow down. Nobody's after your booze." Aljun, another good friend of his, jokingly remarked, but a hint of worry evident in his voice. He simply smirked at him and drank from the bottle again.

"Yeah dude, slow down. How many bottles have you finished already? We've only been here for an hour." This time, it was his teammate Santi who spoke.

How many bottles has he gone through already? Who knows. He's still feeling, it's not enough yet.

How long has it been since her? A month? A year? A decade? Who knows. He's still feeling, it hasn't been long enough yet.

It probably won't ever be long enough.

"Chill, guys. I'm okay, besides it's only my third bottle." He put the bottle on his lips, only to realize that he's gone through it too. He grabbed another one from the bucket. "Make that four."

"Let's talk it out, paps." Kib spoke again, this time not even bothering to hide his concern.

He smirked again. What's there to talk about? She didn't even bother with the talk, anyway.

"It's her, isn't it?" Aljun suddenly said in a way that is more of a statement than a question. "It's still about her, Andrei."

He smiled bitterly. "It will always be about her, paps."

Her. He couldn't believe he's being ruined to death by one person. He couldn't believe that he's capable of loving someone to this extent.

"Drei, she's happy. It's time for you to let yourself be too." He couldn't help but stare at Kib, as these words left his mouth.

She's happy. They were happy once. Now, she's still happy, but it's not because of him anymore.

How unfair is the world? Here he is beating himself up for losing her, when she's there moving on nicely from him.

"I still love her, Kib." There was no mistaking the crack in his voice. He was drunk, he knows, because he was suddenly willing to bare his whole heart and whole soul.

He was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget her.

And he will never be drunk enough to do so.

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