Mirror: you look cute today
Camera: ummm no.
Snapchat filter: queeen!
Maybe eating a doughnut wasn't cheating on my diet... maybe going on a diet was cheating my doughnuts.
While watching infinity war
Thor: I am 1500 years old
Some guy in the back of the theatre: holy shit that's old.
♥️
- I'm sitting in the parking lot at McDonald's and some country bumpkin guy leans out the window of his ugly ass truck and yells, " hey girl your looking hot, can I tap that?"
And I accidentally yelled, "sorry you have to have at least ten teeth to ride this ride."
And the GUY IN THE CAR BESIDE ME IS LIKE CRYING WHY DID I SAY THAT oops...
And she gave no fucks. Not even one. And she lived happily ever after.
Every time that you feel worthless remember your kidneys can buy you a car.
You remind me of my friend Ug Lee
Why does Waldo always wear stripes?
- He doesn't want to be spotted.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
- a calendar has dates.
Do you live in a corn field?
Because I'm stalking you.
YOU ARE READING
Memes and Teenager Things
RandomJust some amazing comebacks, Jokes, Movie References, etc., I've heard over the year. Some I've made up, but others I give credit to. #5 in movie Quotes 7/29/18
