better off alone - randy fanfiction

CHAPTER 4 (does she know?)

andy's POV

i'm sat leaning with my back against the wall and De is lying with her head on my shoulder, my right arm is rested around her body and i'm playing with her hair holding her close. 

i'm an only child, i guess this is what it must feel like to have siblings. i love De, i really do she makes me feel safe. yaknow that cliche childhood friendship, that's us down to a T. 

i'll always love her no matter what and it's not like feelings could ever get in the way because she's not my type, by that i mean i'm not into girls, i'm not wired that way, which is something i'm still coming to terms with. anyway. 

As much as i trust her, i am currently a little nervous about what she's about to ask. as i said before, she's like my sibling, i love her but there are things she doesn't know and i don't plan on telling her anytime time soon. 

it's not that i don't trust her or enjoy keeping secrets from her (i wish it was that simple) - but i'm scared about how certain things she doesn't yet know will affect our friendship, i don't want to lose her, i already pushed rye away and i cannot afford to lose her too - it would break me.

"so and, i wanted to ask you about rye"

shit, shit, shit she knows, doesn't she. i bet rye told her. ugh i specifically told him not too. omg i've fucked up big time. i wonder how much he told her. does she know about the other month. andy you idiot.  do you plan on destroying all your relationships?....

hang on. if she knew then why are we still cuddling, and why isn't she shouting, i thought she really liked rye, wait but i thought, hang on i.......

"i think he's been off recently, like distant, have you noticed?" 

thank God. i got scared then. she doesn't know after all.

i immediately calm down,  didn't realise how tense i was. i'm glad we're cuddling and she can't see me because i'm pretty sure my face hella pale, like Casper the ghost pale.

"andy, you okay?"

"yh i'm fine, just thinking" she has a point rye has been off and i'm pretty sure i know that reason why.

"yh i agree i've noticed little things too." i said 

"like what? and for how long? i'm worried" cody gripped my hand

"yaknow when he does that thing when he plays with the hem of his shirt when he's anxious, he's been doing that a lot. and like when his ears go pink when he's hiding something and the topic comes up in conversation. also that smile he does when you can tell he's thinking about something else because there isn't really anything to smile about in that conversation. i guess he's been having trouble sleeping too because he's carrying full on suitcases under his eyes, which is actually very worrying..." i stopped 

i forgot i was talking to Cody and was just listing all the things i've noticed about rye recently

"andy this is bad" she said

"i didn't notice any of that. but you're right, he's been very restless at night and not sleeping, maybe i should say something"

"maybe, or i think it might be best you wait till he is ready to talk about it" i suggested "you don't want to make it worse" i sighed

"andy do you have any idea what could be wrong"

"not in the slightest" i lied, i mean i'm not sure but i have a pretty good idea.

"i'm so glad you're here andy" 

i kissed her forehead. a sudden wave of guilt hits me. i am a terrible friend.

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andyyyyy what you hiding????????????

are't you supposed to tell your bestie everything ......

i have a feeling there will be some drama on it's way followed by some much-needed romance and randy smut. lmao, ya'll are gonna have to wait