better off alone - randy fanfiction

CHAPTER 10 (Studio//I don't want anyone else but you)

finally a bit of actuall randy, i'm still a tease tho

kinda long chapter, hope you like it x

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Rye's POV

we're in the car driving to the studio. it's less than a 10 min drive so we could walk but we we're already running late.

I'm driving, Mikey is in the passager seat and the other three are in the back. 

jack and brook and giggling about something and andy is looking out the window. he has this look on his face where there is obviously something bothering him, I've seen it before.  I hope it's not my fault but for some reason, I just know it is. 

his hair is messy today, his fringe is falling over his eyes, he looks cute. he is wearing an oversized pink hoodie and he has it pulled up covering the bottom half of his face. 

he notices me glancing at him in the mirror. we exchange a half-hearted smile but both know we're gonna have to talk about 'us' at some point. 

I sigh

I'm thinking about this entire situation. 

I woke up this morning in Andy's bed, I decided to leave my girlfriend alone in my bed and cuddle him instead. 

the more I think about it, the more I realise that I think Cody might be a rebound and I don't want that. I'm not that type of person, no matter what people think. I'm better than that. I keep telling myself it's not true, but it's hard to deny. ugh, I don't want to hurt her, I really do care for her, like a lot, she's my friend. but I think that's all it should be. but if it end it, who knows if she'll ever forgive me. and I'll end up losing a friend and a girlfriend in one break up.

we get along sooo well.

she is always there for me and has hella good advice, even if I hide the full story. she is always up for keeping me company on runs; especially when the boy's don't wanna go out. she takes me and the boys to these cute hidden places in London and around England. she is the perfect person to call on when we need a cover location. she does that thing when we play video games where she gets really competitive, it's funny. we like a lot of the same movies and she's always showing me amazing music. I love spending time with her, but I love spending time with the boys too. these moments are all things that can be appreciated in a friendship, I think the best parts about Cody and I is the platonic side of things. we are best friends that have occasional sex. I don't think there's anything that romantic about it. 

my heart never jumps at her touch. I don't get butterflies whenever I'm around her. I never get a longing desperation when she's at uni, it's more of a lonely desperation. like I'm waiting for a feeling of completion, something to fill an emptiness. she fills it sometimes but I feel like I'm longing for something more...

andy 

I'll admit it, I have feelings for andy but I hate acknowledging it because I know it's all too fucked to resolve.

I look at him again

I imagine the feeling of his skin, his hair, his lips. I remember moments of intimacy we shared in the past. Him placed on my lap, legs round my thighs. our bodies colliding together, our lips inseparable, tongue, teeth, our breath in sync. my hands exploring his neck, back, hips, his entire body and him exploring mine...

"yo, Ryan, eyes on the road" Mikey shouts. 

shit, I missed the turning.

Andy, you're on my mind.