better off alone - randy fanfiction

CHAPTER 8 (i'm cold)

"umm andy, you awake?" a voice whispers softly into my ear sending goose bumps across my entire body

It's rye.

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Andy's POV

"mmhmm yeahh.." I mumble into my pillow rolling over to face him

he is sat on the edge of my bed

"andyy, I am cold on the sofa" he sleepily moans rubbing his eyes.

"rye your bed is down the hall" I state pretending that I don't want him to stay, but I don't think I played it off as subtly as i had hoped.

"I know" he says. 

we keep eye contact for what feels like forever. I feel like I could stare into his eyes for the rest of my life, I'm totally emersed.

rye looks away first as he yawns (mwahaha I win, I think to myself) yet his yawn causes me to yawn back, we both giggle, he's so adorable when he's tired.

 I move over. I can't help myself. I mean there's nothing wrong with sharing a bed with your best friend, who you happen to have had a secret fling with for the past 2 years, who's also dating your childhood bestie.  

ugh I don't care.

 I let him slide under the covers and wrap his arms around my waist causing me to be the little spoon. this just feels right, it feels like we have never been apart. he's like a missing part of me.

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Rye's POV

I wake up shivering a little, it takes me a moment to orientate myself. I realise I'm on the sofa in the mindy room with just a blanket and cushion.

I must have fallen asleep during the movie. I'm glad they left me because I need all the sleep I can get recently. 

I open my eyes and see Mikey's blanket covering his bunk, he's probably asleep. 

i wonder what time it is. it must be late, the flat is completely silent. 

I look over at andy, the glow of the fairy lights from behind his bed illuminate his face. 

his eyes are shut but he's got his headphone's in so he's probably still awake. 

I study him for a second, he looks so peaceful. I wonder what he's listening to.  

he looks so handsome; the dimmed light complementing the tones and shadows of his face but also adding this soft angelic glow. that's andy down to a T, incredibly sexy but simultaneously soft in a beautiful sense. 

I feel bad for Cody. like I really like her but I think there isn't a lot there. she is my friend before anything else and like she's physically attractive there is no denying it, but andy. I feel like we're having some unspoken emotional affair that we aren't even fully aware of. 

I continue to think about andy. I remember when we used to be more intimate. the way we'd cuddle and kiss like it was normal. and obviously, the time's we fucked in the old flat when everyone one was out. 

our relationship (or whatever it was) was like some intense thrill chasing experience as we owned a secret together that no one else knew. and the fact I got to share those times with him, my andy, just made the whole romantic ordeal worth living for.

I shiver again. I mean the weather has been pretty bad this last week no wonder I'm cold. 

I stand to go back to my bed but something stops me as I reach the door. 

I don't know what it is, it's like some part of me which I've held locked up for the last few months escaped revealing this urge and all I wanna do is be his. completely and wholely andy's.

I mean we aren't together for a reason and if Blair found out like last time...... i don't know ..

but right now I don't care. I really don't. 

I walk over to Andy's side. and lightly touch his arm

"umm andy" he moves slightly, I sit on the edge of his bed.

"you awake?"  

 "mmhmm yeahh.."  he roles to face me opening his eyes

"andyy, I am cold on the sofa" I say which is true it is cold but really I want to hold andy again like the way it used to be.

"rye your bed is down the hall" 

shit does he not want me here, but the tone in his voice suggests otherwise, he looks me directly in the eye. fuck! this guy. 

I know that look too well.

"I know" I say

I don't break eye contact. I could get lost for eternity in his eyes, they're a light ocean blue and a merge golden hazel brown. andy couldn't have normal eyes. no. andy had to be a gift from God and be so damn gorgeous. why.

I yawn, annoyed at myself for being the one to break eye contact, I normally win at eye sex. 

I laugh at andy as he yawns back at me. this just feels right, this is where I'm supposed to be. 

andy shuffles over implying for me to join him. 

I do.

I slip under his cover and take his body into mine.

our limbs perfectly intertwined. I kiss the back of his neck, softly and slowly, with just the right amount of pressure to not leave a mark. 

he lets out a gentle sigh of pleasure somehow moving his body closer into mine.

he takes my hand and leaves a trail of kisses over my knuckles and interlocks our fingers. 

neither of us take anything further out of a mutual awareness that it had been agreed this was to stop, and a shared appreciation for this raw, delicate moment 

(and respect for Mikey who was only meters away)

I hold him and he holds me. 

we fall asleep like this in a state or pure affection and feeling of safety. but I don't want to think about it too much. I am here and he is here, and for now, it is this moment that I am living.