The Beautiful Broken

#4

#4

It was 10 pm when Dr Shehroze departed for his home, having managed to pull Khajista back from the internal bleeding that had threatened her life. He looked at Dr Asfandyar who was unusually quiet and brooding. Dr Shehroze had seen both Zubiya and Asfandyar in Khajista's room that evening for a second, and had felt something was very wrong. Both of them looked devastated. He considered whether he should say something to his much younger colleague, this boy he had known for the past 5 years.

Dr S: " Is there something wrong, Dr Asfandyar? Is Dr Zubiya okay?

A: " Sir, I don't really know. I need to find out myself.

Dr S: "I am a little worried about her involvement in this patient's life, but you know in our profession we deal with people's pains and illnesses. A young sensitive girl, who dosent have family would probably get overwhelmed by the tragedy in other people's lives if she did not have a safety valve at home. You and I go back home and we can be our real selves. But Zubiya is all alone and there does not seem to be anyone in her life away from this hospital. It is natural for her to feel others' pains more.

A: Right Sir

Asfandyar then walked back to the Doctors Common Room to look for her. The usually well lighted room was lighted only by a single bulb and she sat there defeatedly , head bowed down . She reminded him of a broken down doll. As he stood there, watching her, he was scared, really scared for the first time since all this had begun. He had assumed that he would be able to reason it out with her, coax her, boss her and be able to convince her to come back to him . Now he was not sure. He didn't know what he was dealing with. She really had turned into a stranger right before his eyes. Her words yesterday, when she had admitted to him that she didn't love him and that she was dead serious that she didn't want to marry him or anybodythey seemed true now. She really had been dead serious. As he watched her, he felt near tears. He had been certain about Zubiya, but this was not the Zubiya he knew. There were no navigation maps he had for these waters.

He realised she had probably not slept for 36 hours and may be not eaten too. Normally he would have laid down the law about that and he knew she would have not resisted his bossing but to think of ordering her to eat and sleep seemed so futile now.

He shifted slightly and she looked up and stared at him. She sat up straight, covered her head without breaking off his gaze even once. Asfandyar, all his romantic notions of being able to read her eyes went straight outta the window. He sat down across the coffee table and faced her. She waited not once wavering, simply watching him. He felt a coward, looked down and away and back at her.

A: Khajista is out of danger now. She had internal bleeding but Dr Shehroze was able to stabilize her. She is going to be fine, we think.

If he had been expecting some change in her demeanour, his hopes were dashed. She sat unmoved with the watchful gaze still on him.

Zubiya, silently heard his words about Khajista. She already knew in her heart that Khajista would pull through. She recalled his shocked expression in the ICU as he seemed to reel from the horror of what he had overheard her saying to Khajista. She did not even remember what she had actually said but she knew from the expression on his face that he knew. Where as 24 hours earlier she had run to him to break off everything in order to avoid this very shame , now it didn't matter to her. In the past 24 hours she had realised that all the running away she had done from her truth had been in vain. Every road in her life brought her back to the same starting point and she was tired of trying to escape the inescapable. She only wished she didn't have to see him, to watch him as he came to realise who she was and file away each detail of his expression and words to torture herself every day of her living life. She was so sorry, so wretched for having dragged him through this. She wanted this over now, she didn't want to further add to his sense of betrayal and humiliation. This honorable dignified man who she loved like there was no tomorrow certainly deserved the truth. Esp since there were no tomorrows anyway.