Celeb Bodyguard

Realizations

~Serena Dawson~

Let's see- milk- check, chocolate-check, graham crackers-check, marshmallows-check, let's get out of here. I go to the self-checkout and finish up my visit at the local Shop-and-Save and call up John, is it just me or was he really weird this morning? He was really weird this morning. But cute. Cute? Where did that come from? From you, dummy, you like him. No I don't. Shoot, he just said hi, I gotta say something.

"Um, hi, it's Serena," why the heck am I nervous? Me- girl calm around the most famous celebrities, nervous around my old best friend?

"I know, silly, I have caller ID."

"Oh," I giggle.

"You okay, you sound weird? You nervous?"

"Yeah, not nervous, I'm fine. Um, just wondering, you wanna hang out tonight, eat some s'mores?"

"Sure, sounds cool. Bye."

"Bye, Sully."

"Still remember my old nickname, huh?"

"Yep."

"Bye, Dally."

Awwwww, he remembered my nickname.

******

Once I put up the groceries, I knock on my mom's door.

"Come in."

"Hey mom, John's coming over tonight. S'mores and movies."

"You like him."

"Do not."

"You do. He likes you."

Do I? Oh my god! I do. But does he?

"He doesn't realize it yet, but soon he will. Seems you didn't realize it til now, yourself."

"I just said all of that aloud, didn't I."

"Yep. Tell him, I felt tired. I'll stay out of the way. By the way, he doesn't work tomorrow, so he can sleep over again," she winked.

"He didn't, I, what?"

"I'm not a clueless old lady, hon."

**********

The doorbell sounds and get off of the couch and run to the door, after running my fingers through my hair.

*****

~John~

She opened the door, wearing dark jeans and a faded old T-shirt, not a hint of makeup on her face, yet she looked like the most beautiful woman in the world, that was when I finally realized it, I like Serena Dawson.

*****

~Serena~

Seriously, how can a dude look so good in faded blue jeans and a dark blue T-shirt.

"You gonna let me in or you going just stare at me?"

"Sorry, I zoned out, come in. I already made 4 s'mores."

"Sweet. What movie should we watch?"

"Well, I got one from Nexflix yesterday, I switched my address to here for now. Maybe you heard of it, Olympus Has Fallen?"

"Yes! I've been dying to see that movie! You like action movies?"

"Does 2 plus 2 equal 4?"

"Yes. Can you get anymore awesome? My celebritity."

"S'mores?" I hand him the plate taking one of them myself and stuffing it in my mouth before I say something really stupid and embarrassing.

******

The movie ends and the credits start to roll and I speak for the first time since it began, "that might have been better than Independence Day."

"Nothing beats Independence Day, this is a close second."

"What about Die Hard?"

"Tied for first."

*****

There's a knock on the door after John goes to the bathroom.

"What the hell do you want, Nate," I ask immediately after I open the door.

"I'm sorry baby, I know it's kinda late, but I just got here and, baby I can't live without you."

I feel nothing, no hatred, no love as I say, "well, then you better prepare your funeral," and slam the door in his face.

Now I feel it, the brokenness, the emptiness, the feeling of shame, and the feeling that no one will ever truly love me.

"I need a beer," I whisper to myself. I make my way to the fridge and grab two bottles, that was enough to get me drunk last time, I hope it is now.

John comes out of the bathroom and sees me, "Serena, what happened? You don't drink," the next thing I know-he's right in front of me, holding me by my shoulders.

"Nate came and said sorry and I told him to go away and I thought, I thought that I felt nothing. But when he left, I started to feel it again," tears poured down my face.

~John~

"Feel what?"

"That I'll never be loved."

Why does she gotta cry? I can't stand to see her cry.

"Serena, shhh, stop crying, it'll be okay."

She finishes the beer and starts downing the second.

"Serena, stop drinking, you're going to get drunk."

"I want to, to make the pain go away."

It's breaking my heart to see her this way.

She finishes the second one and starts wobbling and falls over.

"Whoopsie."

I pick her up bridal style and watch her fall asleep as I carry her to her room. As I'm fixing to lay her on her bed, her eyes open, "Sullllyyyy, I'm gonna be sick."

I carry her to her bathroom and hold her hair back as she empties the contents of her stomach. She finishes after 5 minutes and passes out, she almost falls on the floor but I catch her. I pick her up and lay her on the bed and cover her up, she shivers in her sleep so I climb in with her and snuggle up to her from behind and loop my arms around her torso.

*******

It's been two hours since she got drunk  and I still can't fall asleep, not only because she talks in her sleep when she's drunk but because I'm worried about her. She thinks she will never be loved, I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go, I want to make her feel wanted.

"I don't like him. Do I? I do. I like him. I like Jo---- chocolate bunny!"

I lean over to make sure she's still asleep, yep. She was about to say my name, then she thought about a chocolate bunny. When people talk in their sleep, are their confessions true? She can't like me. Could she?

Sara writing late in the evening(watching Community and Troy and abed in the morning song just popped into my head.) So, confessions of the heart, will they ever express their feelings to each other while awake, sorry if this authors note is goofy, I'm extremely tired and I get silly when I'm tired. So, thanks for reading, I'm going to sleep. Night Night, don't let the chocolate bunnies in your dreams bite!

-Sara