Beyond the Black Curtain

Chapter 17 - Separation, Anxiety

Sebastian

She's really here.

Rae, my beautiful, crazy, insane, wonderful woman is here. With me.

I gently scoot over sideways and get out of bed to sit on the floor so I can take a good look at her while she still slept. I don't know what time it is, but it's still dark out, only the moon casting a soft light through the curtain slits inside my room. I felt a little guilty when we came back from dinner with Chris and Scarlett; Rae was dog tired that I had to be the one to change her to more comfortable sleeping clothes. She mumbled incoherent things as I took her dress off making me chuckle at her silliness.

I gently swipe at a loose lock of hair and tuck it behind Rae's ears. She looks like a baby when she sleeps. Her long lashes just barely touch her cheek and I fight the urge to skim my fingers over them. It's been two days, and yet I feel like the novelty of her being here will not wear off for quite some time. After all, she's the first woman I'm going to live with. I wasn't planning on discussing separate living arrangements with her when she told me her employer would be flying her out to work in Burbank instead of the office in Manila and I'm glad she didn't have to think about it either. It was a bit of a pleasant surprise she didn't broach the subject at all, if I'm being honest, knowing how headstrong and independent she is.

I suddenly feel a strong sense of privilege upon that realization; she could've totally closed off on me but she didn't. It must have been an agonizingly hard decision for her to allow me in that quickly into her life. The enormity of the moment hits me like a thousand bricks. In front of me was a woman whose tough exterior belied the fragility of her emotions. She literally only has me at the moment and I knew right there and then that I should do everything in my power to keep her reassured, loved and needed. A solitary tear escapes my eye and I immediately swat it away with a sniffle. The sun was already peeking through the curtained windows just as Rae was slowly opening her eyes. A sniffle involuntary escapes me again and I try my best to cover it up with a smile.

"You know it's rude to stare, Sebastian," Rae mumbles as she gingerly rubs her eyes. "Why are you not beside me? Get back here, you dumbass."

I get up from the floor and lie back down beside her. She immediately rests her head on my chest and curls up beside me, tangling our legs together. I wish every morning was like this, I thought.

"Were you crying? Why?"

"No, I wasn't," I respond. "I was just watching you sleep and couldn't believe how beautiful you looked."

"I heard you sniffle you know," she says. "Either you were crying or you were fighting not to cry. Which one is it, Stan?"

I sighed and let out a low chuckle. "How long have we known each other? Three months?"

"Answering a question with another question. How rude of you this early. But seriously Sebastian, is something wrong? Please tell me."

I pull her closer to me and absentmindedly run my fingers over her arm that's draped over my chest.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything's just the way I want them to be."

The days bled into weeks and before I knew it, I found myself dropping Rae off to her Burbank office before I myself go to the airport to travel for another round of reshoots and press for the next Avengers movie. The entire drive to her office had been quiet and so I made it a point to hold Rae's hand whenever I could. I could sense her tension and frustration by how she was death gripping my hand as well as the strap of the bag in her lap.

I purposefully drove her early today so we could still have a few more minutes to ourselves as well as to avoid any lurking photographers in the vicinity. I didn't wanna risk upsetting her with pesky paps more than she already is now.

"I asked Mackie to drop by if he's ever here in California. Scarlett even offered to stay with you, if you're cool with them doing so. They won't be leaving in another month," I say quietly as I turn to look at her side profile. She was biting her lip, as if fighting not to cry.

"Hey," I touch her chin so I could get her to look at me. I nearly lost it when I saw her eyes shining with unshed tears. She blinked a couple of times then wiped them like a little girl.

"Fuck," Rae finally muttered. "How'd I get so damn clingy?!"

"Oh sweetheart," I respond as I reach for her. "You aren't the only one, you know? At least after five months, I'm coming home to you and not just an empty house."

I touch my forehead to hers and we both let out a breath. This should get a little easier in time, right? 'Cause if it isn't, I'm absolutely gonna go insane.

"I'm so tempted to ask you to walk me to the office," Rae breathes out. "But then again that would be unwise." She tilts out her head slightly upwards instead and her lips grazes mine ever so gently it felt like kissing an angel. I let out a sigh of frustration and I deepen the kiss, grabbing the back of her neck to press our mouths together further. I memorize the contours of her lips as it melded against mine, how she could be soft and gentle one time and be hot and passionate the next. Her kisses were like a drug, and here I was stocking up my stash for the next five months.

We stayed in the car for a few more minutes, just kissing and talking about how we'd be communicating while I was out of the country. I made sure she was safely inside the office building before I drove to the airport.

I began counting the days until I'm back home as soon I started driving away.