The Greatest Journey To The Past

Chapter 10

Anne's Pov

It was hard to say that the streets were not crowded even though. Each person in the crowd moves as if unseeing hands drag them this way and that, pulling their eyes to one thing and then another. They respond in predictable ways, each of them with a goal to achieve for the day. But underneath that is free will, the ability to truly choose their own path. Sometimes I engage them in conversation just to wake up the part of themselves that is capable of taking charge, making choices. Then they're off, back on an automatic response, the most dangerous mode a human being can slip into.

Barnum, Phillip and I walk through the myriads of people, each of us pretending to be something, someone, who we weren't. Well I guess that is the definition of pretending. To behave in a way in order to make one appear to deceive. 

I think that is the sad thing within this society, you can see it in peoples eyes. That they believe that lie, that they need to hide their face. Afraid to step outside the domains of conformity, so they lock the door. But I refuse to stay that way. 

But I refuse to stay that way. 

Maybe in Paris it will be different? Maybe I won't have to live in those shadows? 

Dusk came sooner than I  expected, the last of the sun's rays cosseted behind soft grey cloud. The street takes on the look of an old photograph, every familiar thing a shade of grey. Slowly the view fades to blackness and the night begins.

I felt Phillip's hand intertwine with my own as we passed a few officers, his fingers tightly wrapped around my own. Probably just to ensure that I wouldn't get lost in the crowd or something like that. It is nothing more...right?

I don't know what is happening to be honest. Everything is just so confusing at the moment. I met Barnum and Phillip, what like, two or three days ago and here I am going to Paris under the false name of Clara Parker, the girl with the pink hair. While I am also trying to remember who I was, trying to extract fragments from the void of darkness. 

The sound of the ocean rang louder and louder the closer we came to the docks. The waves were shallow, enough to keep the few boats there bobbling in the water. The echo of raised voices were emerging, causing my to take my hand out of Phillip's and go over to a woman who was being verbally abused my some of the sailors on another ship. Phillip called out for me, well he called out for Clara, but i ignored him and continued to go towards the woman. 

"Excuse me sir, is there a reason why you are harassing my Aunt?" I asked as the woman turned to me, having an intial confusion towards what i was doing. I mouthed at her to go with it as I placed an hand onto her shoulder. "Are you alright Aunt Diana?" I asked. I have no idea why Diana was the first name i thought of, but it was.  

The lady nodded slowly as I began to walk up the boat ramp with her, my hand still on her shoulder as Barnum and Phillip continued behind us. 

Once we were away from ear shot of the sailors, I pulled the lady over to the side, allowing Phillip and Barnum to sort out our cabins.  "Are you alright?" 

"Yes thank you." It was the first time i properly looked at her face. Brown eyes and brown hair which elegantly framed her face. She had a beard though, which would explain the reason why the sailors were harrassing her. 

"They are small minded people. Don't have the intellectual capacity to actual talk about real things, things that are not ditacted by what society concieves as diffrent." I whisper, causing her lips to turn upwards in a sort of gracious smile. 

"I'm Lettie. " Lettie smiled at me. 

"Anne," I stuck out my hand for her to shake, to which she happily took. "But, um, on here i am known as Clara Parker." I explain quickly, giving her a small wink as she caught on to what was happening. 

"Are you in danger?" Lettie asked a few moments after, trying to figure out why a girl named Anne was impersnating a girl named Clara. 

"No. It more like i am trying to find out who i am." 

I'm pretty sure Lettie could feel a sense of sadness in my voice. A small part of it that had woven itself into my statement. 

"Well, from what I saw. I see a bave, couragous, strong woman." Lettie replied, causing me to smile. "Would you like to get a cup of tea later on? " She offered, to which i nodded my head as Phillip called me over. 

Quickly I made my way over to Phillip, to which we then walked to our cabin. But i couldn't help but to look over my shoulder at Lettie, who was looking at the ocean as moonlight begun to shin upon it. 

 I see a brave, couragous, strong woman. 

Her words echoed in my head. 

Was that who i was, even though i had no idea of my past whatsoever? 

Could i still be those things when i discovered, hopefully, my past?