stars don't shine

lonesome

Rivers POV
my two weeks of being alone turned into two months.
i don't know why they made me stay longer, but it made me worry about Ariadne.
what if she thinks i'm never coming back?
what if she found someone else?
she hasn't written back to any letters i have sent her. i haven't heard from her in two months.
i went down to the lobby with my bags, signed out, and returned my key.
i can't stay here any longer.

i walked, and walked, i didn't know where i was going, but i needed to get home.

it's been hours since i left the hotel, i had no idea where i was, or where the nearest train station is, i couldn't stop thinking about her.
up ahead, i saw a building with a small population of people.
i made it there, and saw it was a train station.
i paid for my ticket, and waited for the train going back to oregon.

finally, was able to make it back home.
i stepped inside, it was dark. the cats were walking around and playing with each other.
"honey?" i called out.
"Ariadne," i called again, looking around.
there was nothing.
i went upstairs and saw Wil had left, and made his bed.
i went into our room, and saw Ariadne sleeping.
i climbed into bed and gently rubbed her back to wake her.
her cadaverous form didn't move, she was cold, and frail.
i kissed her forehead, and finally she rolled over.
she looked at me with her sunken in eyes, and a weak smile.
"you're back!" she whispered.
"i'm sorry, i wrote to you to let you know what was going on, and that i had to stay longer but i never heard back. are you alright?"
she clung onto me, and nodded her head.
"have you eaten lately?" i asked.
"no, i haven't really been hungry." she replied.

Ariadnes POV

we got up, and into the bath, it was nice to have him back. i thought i'd never see him again, and it honestly hurt.
he washed my hair, and gently washed my back. i could see him looking at me with disappointment in his eyes, but still, he said nothing.
we finished, and went downstairs. he made one of his vegetarian meals, i picked around my plate and ate what i could.

"hey Ari?"
"yes?" i replied.
"could you maybe read to me?" he asked with a small smile.
i giggled, "of course i can."

we headed upstairs and he grabbed my poetry book.
"i have studied many times
the marble which was chiseled for me-
a boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
in truth it pictures not my destination
but my life.
for love was offered me and i shrank from its disillusionment;
sorrow knocked at my door, but i was afraid;
ambition called to me, but i dreaded the chances.
yet all the while i hungered for meaning in my life.
and now i know we must lift the sail
and catch the winds of destiny
wherever they drive the boat.
to put meaning in ones life may end in madness,
but life without meaning is the torture
of restlessness and vague desire-
it is a boat longing for the sea and get afraid."

he smiled at me,
"you're so beautiful, Ariadne mitchell."
i smiled and looked down.
i grabbed my pack of cigarettes and lit one, and handed him one.
"you know, you keep smoking these and you're gonna die" he said as he lit his.
"i could say the same to you." i kissed his forehead, and that night, we lied there.
it felt like it's been forever, but i finally felt alive.