Thoughts

losing myself

I wake up
Just to see what I never gonna reach
I want to fall
But that's too obvious
Shall i hold on?
I don't know if i can endure the pain
My tears feel like blood
I disappoint myself
I know i should be happy
How can i still stand up
I don't even understand the feeling to be happy
So that's what i should see when I'm here
I run back
I began to love the dark
I always enjoyed to be alone

Even you call me pretty
Call me intelligent
Call me anything
I can't believe you
I can't even believe myself
Believe in myself
What's harder?
To stand up
Or
To build a new mask every day
I don't know what to do anymore
So i just say that the time will passes by
I try to breath
But it gets harder every day
I try to survive
But my own thoughts going to kill me
My mind became an empty place
An empty heart
I don't know what i even feel