Thoughts

my mind

My tears are rolling
My blood is frozen
Everything that stays is my heart that I broke myself
I wish it was a bad romance
An unrequited love
But the one who hurt me is myself

I wish it was a boy
Or even a girl
A crush that let me despair
But no
I despair on myself
Myself that stucks on their on
Maybe a bad romance would be easier to heal

Who is supposed to help me out of this
My mind is stronger than the encouraging words you try to say

My mind is a cage
I just try to be who I am
But my mind complains

How is it supposed to work
I don't understand
Why am I hurt , by myself?

Is it just a phase I am going through?
Or did something inside me decide to fight against myself?

How am I supposed to survive
My mind isn't ready to be alive

My tears are rolling
My blood is frozen
Everything my mind thinks about is hate

All I write about
Is it really how I feel?
My mind isn't clear
I am not sure

The pain I describe
It's how my mind plays this game

My mind
My mind is fighting against an enemy we can only defeat in two
It's myself
The one who will lose

Thinking
Thinking all the time
I hate who I am
Who is to blame?
Is it anyones fault?
Or just myself trying to challenge me for life?

Thinking
Can't stop this pain
It's an unbreakable course
It's denied to escape

Thinking
Thinking 'bout my end
But I am still here
How shall I ever understand ?

My tears are rolling
My blood is frozen
I still wonder why all this needs to happen

Starring the way down the corridor
I sit there in the dark
Wondering who we are
Wondering who am I?

My tears are frozen
my blood is floating
Some time has passed and my tears are kinda dry
But ice doesnt last forever and my tears gonna flow again
But as long as I am here
The sharp ice will cut my skin

The time is frozen
My mind is out of ice
The one that kills me could be the heat in the end
It will melt
The sharp ice will disappear
But the lost ice reveals the even sharper surface of the time

My face full of scars
I am a good actress because of the mask I use to wear
I need to hide the scars that the sharp tears left
Craved deep into my skin
The pain I got myself in

My tears are frozen
My blood is too
All I am feeling is the cold
I feel how I am getting a part of it
I am unmotivated to be with you in the end
You,  you are myself
Now I want to complain
Can't we get along , 'cause you are who I am

My tears are my blood
As the time approaches I am bleeding out
So look out
It's almost my last goodbye
The last tear that dries

And if you think I am dead
Don't be certain
Maybe I just disappear to be a new kind of person
The person that's needed so you all see how I really am

A new kind of person that doesn't know tears
And if I'll hurt you
I am sorry
But the new person is the person I almost am
The cold irresponsible person that doesn't really care
About you're feelings 'cause I cared too much
No , now I am sure
I'll hurt you and I already know how
The bad person that is made out of the cold

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I don't really like this chapter