Thoughts

wish

You said i could wish something
I wish you go
I want to be alone when i torture myself
When I see how my dreams fade with the time
I shouted when I saw how they disappear
I can't reach just one of them
Even though I want
You said I must be stronger
But I can't
It's not because I am too weak
It's because I lose the sense
There were so many times I tried to be strong
But now
I don't want to anymore
I know it's not good to choose the easiest way
But I think you should be happy that I don't wish to die
Maybe I am just afraid
I don't want to be honest to myself
I open my eyes , I hope I won't see my dreams
But even my eyes are open
I see what I want too near
I feel like I am hurting myself
With all these things
But maybe one day I can start to reach something I want

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[Wishing to be alone so nobody knows what I go through;)
It's one of the old texts btw]