Tempo (Let's switch it up) A Chris Brown FanFic

9. Questions

"So he didn't show up?"
Essence asks as she brushes my hair. I shake my head from side to side.
"I should punch him in his face."
"It's not even worth it at this point. I told you things will change, but no you just had to put those retched thoughts in my head."
"If i didn't you would be somewhere eating ben and jerry's right now."
"Sounds way better than getting played a fool doesn't it?"
She lets out a long sigh as she takes a break from brushing to sit down on my bed.
"Look, what Z did was messed up at every angle, but maybe he had a good reason."
"How would I know that Ess if he won't even pick up his damn phone? I have tried calling him three freaking times and i haven't gotten one call back. Not even a little text. What kind of best friend does something like that? If thats the person he has become then i would be better off without a bestfriend."
"You still have me as a bestfriend. Right?"
"Of course, but me and Z go way back and our friendship was more golden."
"Oh, i get it now. I'm not good enough to have a golden friendship with you?"
"You know what I mean."
I sit on the bed beside her.
"No, I actually don't Lexi. We have known each other for what? 2 or 3 years and soon as he comes back into the picture I'm just another person to you?"
"Essence this is not about you."
"No because like always its about you.You know what? I got to go get ready for my photoshoot.Hopefully, I'll talk to you later"
"Ess?"
she keeps walking leaving me to feel like its me against the universe. I have never felt so pathetic in my life and now i feel as if i'm just making my life harder. I hate feeling as if Essence is right, comparing my friendship between her and i and Z and I isn't the adult thing to do. I hate that i just made her upset and honestly I'm feeling like the world's biggest jackass right now. I flop back onto my bed prior to my phone chiming, and me rolling off the bed to see who it is exactly.
The text read: Call me Now!!
I hate unknown numbers. I mean do you care to just let me know who exactly i am speaking with because i am not psychic. I dial the number hoping it was a mistake. at this point of my life i really don't feel like associating with people. period. Their all strange and seem to make me feel as if i can't do anything right and who wants to feel like that.
"Hello?" someone answers the phone and i immediately know who it is.
"Kandyce?"
"Lexi is that you? Thank god."
"Yeah, its me. You told me to call you and i assume its important."
"It is important," she exhales into the phone, "Mom left again."
"She did what?"
"She left with Roscoe and I know he's going to get her back on those drugs. I can feel it."
"okay, slow down Kandyce nobody's getting hooked back on drugs. Plus, Mom and Roscoe are married---."
"Separated.Their Separated, which means they shouldn't be together period."
"Kandyce will you calm down! Mom wouldn't relapse like that. not after all the stuff she put us through. She promised she wouldn't, so take her word for it."
"She's a recovering addict Lexi. Listen to me What do i look like taking her word for anything? Maybe its easy for you because you've always been a mommy's little girl and don't like to accept the truth of the matter, but mom and roscoe? together? Is not good. Somebody has to go find her."
"Okay? So why aren't you looking?"
"Ha Ha. I meant you smart ass."
"Me? Why me?"
I ask ready to object to anything she has to say. The last time mom left we found her beside the dumpster outside of starbucks and she spazzed out on me and the way she was looking, like she wasn't here. Like she was in a different dimension, It scared me to the point I didn't stay at home for weeks, instead I stayed over essence's house until i wore out my welcome as she says. I hate seeing my mom like that and the thing that hurts the most is that she use to didn't care. Kandyce woke me and my brother up every morning for school, Fixed our breakfast, cleaned our clothes, and made sure we didn't have to worry about anything. Meanwhile, my mom was somewhere with the biggest dope and meth fiends around. She'll come home every two weeks looking worst then the last time we saw her and sometimes when we ask her about it she'll lash out to the point she ends up hurting herself. I can admit my mom is a mess, and she's been this way since grand daddy died. I guess you can call it her escape from having to deal with the pain. She didn't even attend the funeral because she was somewhere getting high with some thugs in a terrible neighborhood. Nothing hurts more than seeing your mom hurt herself by doing things she knows is bad for her but loving the way it stopped her from feeling the things she didn't want to and that's why Kandyce hates her. She hates her because she wasn't the mother she should've been to us and it drives Kandyce up the wall to the point she doesn't want anything to do with her. So, everytime mom does something she shouldn't, I'm the first she calls.
"Yes, you and you know why. I don't have time for mama acting like she don't have any damn sense. She doesn't care about herself so why should we?"
"uh, because she's our mother duh."
"No, she's your mother. Last time i checked i took care of me since I could remember. I woke myself up for school, cooked our meals, cleaned, and mom had nothing to do with that. The only thing she was good for was getting good deals on drugs, and that's it, so you can walk around here pretending like she just did such motherly things for us all you want. But--"
"okay. Okay, fine I'll go find her just please don't talk about her like that."
"You need to open your eyes and realize she doesn't deserve our respect, but okay. Good luck."
I hang up the phone.
I wish Kandyce could just forgive mom, but she's pretty clear on how much she rather die than forgive her. Its like breaking me into shambles because their all the family i have in the world and to see them not get along. It hurts me to the core and I don't know what else to do about it at this point.
I put on my Nikes along with my baseball cap before grabbing my keys and phone then heading for the door.

Mom? where are you?