Little Marks

18 - Issues

December 27th

The two of us compromised. Kind of. I compromised. I told Cam I would at least go to the doctor and figure it out, as long as he came with me. I wanted him to be there for the ultrasound. I hope that by seeing his, our, baby would change his mind.

Cameron and I spent Christmas apart. We were in the midst of a fight and knew we wouldn't be happy celebrating together. As much as I wanted to return his gift, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I bought Cameron a new guitar, one that I know he's been wanting. He pointed it out one day when we were walking through the mall. He made a comment about how he had been saving up for it for two years, so I bought it the next day and was saving it for a special occasion.

Cameron didn't even send me a 'Merry Christmas' text, even though I sent him one. I had the right to be mad, Cameron didn't really. This was my body. He didn't have to be a present parent if he didn't want to be one. But he had no right to force me to get an abortion. He could have talked to me, maybe suggest giving the baby up for adoption. But no. He wanted to push me into completely giving up on my baby. This wasn't our baby anymore. This was my baby.

~~~

Cameron sent a text saying that he was here. He didn't come up to the door like he used to when he got here. This was also the first text he's sent me in the 5 days we've been fighting.

I managed to get an express appointment with my doctor, who luckily was a trained OB/GYN. She set up an appointment to see the ultrasound of my baby and to talk to us about what would happen for the abortion.

I got into the car, at least he was kind enough to not show up on his motorcycle. I buckled up and pulled my knees to my chest, sniffling. Part of this could be my haywire emotions, but I also was upset with Cameron. He didn't really love me anymore. Not since I told him I wanted to keep the baby.

"Italy," He sighed. "Don't cry." At first, I thought it was because he hated seeing me cry. "It's bothering me and I can't focus on the road." Of course. Why would he care that I was upset?

~~~

My doctor tied my arm with a ribbon tightly and pulled out a needle, causing me to whimper nervously. I was terrified of needles. I looked at Cameron for comfort, but he just looked up at me with a bored face and went back to his game on his phone. I cried when the needle went into my arm and tried my hardest not to vomit as she withdrew some blood for testing. Cameron just snapped at me to stop being a baby. Doctor Wallace sent me a sympathetic glance before pulling the needle out and setting the blood into a tube.

"You could show at least a little compassion. I get you're mad at her, but this isn't her fault. You're her soulmate, you should love her no matter what. Yes, you're young, but things happen for a reason." She snapped, causing Cameron to look up in surprise. "This isn't just her. You helped this happen as well. If anyone has the right to be mad, it's the sweet girl who's sitting here and getting tested because of you. She's doing her best to keep you from leaving, yet you're the one being pissy. She just wants your love. You're forcing her to do something that could ruin her future as well." With that, she left the room with the vial of my blood to get it tested for any issues. Cameron looked up at me and saw the tears in my eyes. He sighed and stood up.

"I don't hate you Italy. I'm just scared. We're young. We're not ready to have a baby. We don't have the income for a family of three. YouTube isn't enough to support us all. We don't have the time either. You'll be starting Uni in the fall, I'm halfway through it. Your teachers won't let you take the baby to classes, and we can't rely on our parents all the time. I want you to have this abortion because we're not ready. I want a baby, I really do, I just see the reality that we can't do it. Not now." He sighs and kisses my forehead. I nod weakly and try my hardest not to burst into tears. I get where he's coming from, but I still don't think I could have an abortion.