Little Marks

23 - Name

March 9th

~Cameron~

What is it like to be left by the person you love? I wish I could feel the pain Italy is in. I know she's upset, but I want to know.

I'm ready to do this. I'm ready to be a father. I don't know what made my mind change essentially overnight, but it did. And I'm glad it did. I don't think I can be away from her any longer. According to Momma, she found out the gender of our baby yesterday. I hope she hasn't picked out a name without me. I know I haven't been there for the last three months, but I still want to be there for such an important decision.

I have to figure out how to win her back. I know she might just let me back into her life, but I want to do something special to get her back. I want her to feel like I'm ready to try. I want to be there for her. Once school is done this year, I'm going to start going to night school and start working full time. I want to be able to provide for the three of us when our baby comes in August. I still want to get my degree, but it will be easier for me to make money to provide if I only take classes at night. My counselor was confused when I brought up wanting to change to a part-time student but understood once I explained that I had a baby on the way. She told me that she was always there to talk, or if I needed any help with the baby.

~~~

I knocked on the door nervously, biting my lip. A few moments passed, and I panicked even more. Maybe she didn't want me back. The door creaked open, and I saw the bright green eyes I fell in love with. My hands settled on my guitar, taking a nervous strum. I started singing to Forgiveness by Matthew West, tears forming in my eyes. I missed Italy so much, and I just wanted her to forgive me for what I've done. I could see her tearing up too, her green eyes shining with tears that were ready to come out.

"I love you Italy," I sigh after I finish the song, wiping my eyes. "Will you please forgive me? Will you let me back into your life as your soulmate and our baby's father?"

"Yes." Her voice is weak. She opens the door entirely and I had just enough time to set my guitar down before her arms wrapped around me. I held her close, cradling her in my arms. I missed these hugs from her. I felt her lips against my chin. Looking down, I connect our lips gently, internally sighing happily from the feeling. Her arms slowly went up against my body, wrapping around my neck gently. My arms slowly went down her torso, one wrapping around her back, the other gently resting on her bump.

"I love you," I whisper gently, pulling away from the kiss. Italy repeats it back, a smile on her face. Our foreheads rest against each other, the two of us just basking in the presence of the loved one we haven't seen in such a long time. I heard her sniffle though, and my heart broke. "Butterscotch what's wrong?"

"You left me! For almost four months I've been doing this without you!" She starts to cry. "I thought you would never come back."

"Oh, baby," I hug her. "I would always come back. I just had to think. I love you, and I don't think I could ever leave you. I have been in so much pain since we stopped talking. My life went downhill. You keep me sane Italy." She tilts her head up and slams her lips against mine, her hands playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. My hands instinctively place on her lower back, pulling her closer to me. I haven't felt her lips against mine since before Christmas. I've been going through withdrawal from her love, and I never want to cut off from her love cold turkey again. Our kiss is frantic but filled with love, trying to make up for the lack of affection we have had for the last few months. We spend a little while like that, just frantically kissing. I shift us so I have her pressed against the doorway, leaning over her slightly. I eventually pull away, attempting to catch my breath. Italy was the same, but she had a huge stupid grin on her face too. Seeing her smile like that caused me to smile just as much.

"Let's go in?" I suggest. Italy nods and takes my hand, leading me in after I grab my guitar. I set it down by the door before she leads the two of us into her room. Italy lays down on her bed, propping a few pillows behind her head. In the process, her shirt rode up, exposing her little baby bump. I crawled on the bed, staying lower. I kissed her stomach which caused her to giggle.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper quietly, kissing her stomach again. "I never wanted to leave the two of you." A small tear escapes my eyes and I could feel Italy wiping it away.

"Please don't cry, Cam." She says quietly. "You're here now, that's all that matters."

"What gender are they?" I ask, looking up into bright green eyes.

"We're having a little girl." She smiles brightly. I smile with excitement and crawl up the bed, giving my love a happy kiss. "I haven't thought of a name for her, I was hoping you would change your mind before I did. And I'm glad I waited." I nodded and laid next to her, allowing Italy to rest her head on my chest. "I was thinking something gender neutral."

"That could be pretty," I respond, smiling. "I feel like maybe the middle name could be something mythical, something powerful?" Italy nods.

"I was thinking maybe Jaime?" I shake my head.

"I can't see any adorable baby of ours with that name. It's so soft coming from two very strong-willed parents." It feels weird to call myself a parent. "What about Hayden?"

"Oh that's so pretty. It's like the perfect level between masculine and feminine." Italy slips her hand under my shirt and leaves it on my chest. Her fingertips are cold, which cause me to shiver, but the gesture is sweet, which warms my heart. "So our little girls' name is going to be Hayden." She giggles. "We just need to figure out a middle name. Something mythical and powerful to fit such a strong first name." I nod. "Do you think she'll have a feisty personality? Something fiery like a Phoenix?"

"Hayden Phoenix." It's gorgeous. "I love it." Italy kisses my chin.

"Hayden Phoenix Lester-Thorn." She claims. I smile.

"When we get married, will you do the same, or will you take my last name? I don't mind which Butterscotch."

"I think I'll take your last name." Her voice is quiet. "In that case, maybe she should be Hayden Phoenix Thorn. Then we won't have to go through the trouble of changing her last name when it finally happens." I nod in agreement.

So this is happening. Italy and I are having a baby girl. We're actually going to be parents, come August. We will have a beautiful baby. And her name will be Hayden Phoenix Thorn.

~~~

Teaser: 💔

Fun fact - I almost named her Hayden Oliver Thorn - because her initials would have been HOT. She was also almost: Rowan Quinn, Thea Quinn, and Athena Marie.