Silk || hs

Call Me Maybe

Unsurprisingly, my parents force me to come home with them for the weekend, and though I am perfectly fine, they insist upon staying by my side the entire time, and it isn't until Monday that they are forced to leave me alone. I appreciate their concern and I also realize that they are completely justified in being worried, but still, I just want to go back to school so things can be normal again. It'd be easier to get over what happened if things weren't so different.

All my hopes of having a normal week are derailed as they keep me home on Monday, too, since neither of them have the time to drive the three hours back to school. I don't know what they were planning to do with me if they both have jobs and neither can take time off to drive me back. This is why I should have stayed, because now, I'm probably going to have to get an Uber back to my dorm, and Lord knows that travel fare would be hella expensive. Does Uber even do long distance? I have no idea.

Anyways, it's now time for my history class to start and I am stuck at home. Missing the class makes me want to claw my eyes out simply because now I'm going to have to get the notes from John, and he takes terrible notes, so there's almost no point at all. Being home is just so much more trouble than it's worth; I've missed three classes today, and if one of my parents doesn't drive me back today, then I'm going to miss two more classes tomorrow. Fuck me in the asshole while you're at it, parents, I've had a hard enough weekend as it is.

During my time at home, I have had many phone calls and texts from my roommates. All three of them called me several times that night, but I wasn't actually lucid enough to talk to them until after I left the hospital with my parents. They all worriedly wondered where I had gotten off to, and once I told them about what had happened, they profusely apologized for nearly ten minutes straight before I decided to hang up on them. I don't like pity.

Sadie seemed more distraught than the others, and she has made it a point to text me several times everyday asking about how I am doing along with the occasional apology. I don't blame her for what happened whatsoever, but she has taken the blame upon herself regardless of my protests. In her mind, since it was her idea for me to come out with them to make Harry jealous, she considers herself to be the guilty party. Of course, this is preposterous, seeing as how that douchebag is the only one that could ever be considered in the wrong here.

I am in the middle a very intense Netflix binge session when an incoming text message captures my attention. At the sight of his name flashing across my screen, I nearly drop my phone. Actually, no, that's an understatement. I nearly throw my phone at the wall because I'm too mortified with myself to have him ever speak to me again. The only thing that keeps me from doing just that is the fact that iPhones are expensive and I can't afford to get a new one. One day. One day I'll be rich enough to throw my phone at the wall and not give a shit about how expensive it is.

But alas, that day is not today and I must be a mature adult about this. I wait what seems like seventeen minutes but is actually only a minute and half before opening Harry's text. My heart is racing and I can feel the sweat coming on. Damn it, Harry. Even when you're not here, you're making me crazy.

I don't know what I was expecting Harry to say to me, but I sure wasn't expecting this:

"Hey, I noticed you're not in class today. I hope you are doing well. Like I said before, if you need me, I'm here. H."

Harry's words bring an unsolicited smile to my face, and I feel that stupid feeling in my chest again. I had left the hospital fully intending to never see or speak to Harry again in any setting other than in the classroom, but this text makes me want to break that resolution. It seems pointless to make a decision like this, but I simply can't bear to continue seeing someone who knows just how pathetic I really am. He saw how foolish I was being that night, and even worse, he saw how terribly the whole thing affected me the next morning. It's definitely a pride thing, but I just can't stand to lose any more of my dignity as long as Harry is around.