Silk || hs

Study Habits

The following weeks pass by almost exactly as you might want them to. Harry and I continue our little flirtation with lots of Snapchats, lots of making out, and lots and lots of laughing at each other. Harry has become a lot more obvious with his affection towards me, which has me literally smiling like an idiot all the time, and I think I am finally becoming a little better at reciprocating similar acts of affection. Because despite what I may feel for him, I am too emotionally immature to actually do anything about it myself. Harry seems to know this, so he initiates towards me quite often.

As far as how we spend time together, I'd say most of it takes place around town or at his apartment. He doesn't like going back to the dorm life, so we stay away from my place. I don't blame him; those rooms are way too small to be considered a safe living space for one person, let alone two people.

Harry also brings me to his shows sometimes, and now, I'm sober enough to realize that it's actually him making the performance. I love seeing this side of Harry, especially when he plays the more "hype" clubs. He has such an incredible stage presence that I genuinely can't understand why someone hasn't approached him about a recording contract or something. I mean, that happens, right? I'm sure talent scouts hang out in sleazy college bars waiting for that one performer who has the It-factor. That's what happens in fanfiction, anyway, but I guess that might not be a plausible expectation for him to have.

I think Harry really does have the talent to make his own record, though. He has written a few songs that he absolutely refuses to sing in public, but I really think they have enough quality to be produced. Or at least, what I've heard of them is really good. He hasn't played one for me, I just overhear him singing them sometimes. It's kind of ridiculous, actually. Harry acts like such a badass frat god who performs with unparalleled confidence, but when he's not on stage, he's just a cute, nervous songwriter who has yet to realize the full extent of his talents.

Every time he lets me sit in on his rehearsals, I literally can't stop praising him, and in return, he literally cant stop smiling. It's the most adorable thing in the world to see him get all bashful and shy, and he always hates when I tease him for it. He usually gets me to shut up by threatening to steal my history tests from the professor and failing me. Obviously, he wouldn't do such a thing, but still, the fact that he actually has the power to do it does sort of freak me out a bit.

during history class, John sees the way Harry looks at me from across the classroom, and he never fails to make his disapproval known to me via a well-timed eye-roll or an aggressive scoff. I try not to talk to John too much about Harry, because he always likes to remind me about how Harry is a player or whatever, and that just makes me sad. I know Harry and I aren't strictly exclusive, so I know that he technically has the freedom to do whatever he wants with other girls. With that in mind, I go down this whole rabbit hole of how he is secretly playing me and it freaks me the fuck out, but then I remember that he seems to like me, and I should calm down.

So yeah, I try to keep all conversation about Harry to a minimum with John because it generally ends up making me more paranoid than before. John and I are still friends though, and I'm honestly so thankful for his company because he keeps me entertained when Harry is busy. And since John started dating this sorority girl he met at a band party, I no longer feel guilty about using him as a distraction.

Wow, I can't believe I'm that girl who spends her time obsessing over a boy. I hate myself, but I get the appeal now, and luckily, so does John... Well, John is obsessing over his girlfriend, not a boy, but you know what I mean.

John's quickness to make his relationship official with his girlfriend makes me a little uneasy, though. I like her and I think they work well together, it's just I keep wondering if Harry is ever going to make a move like that. I would bring it up myself if it weren't for my underlying fear that Harry is only trying to get me to fall in love with him for a joke. If I bring it up, then he would know that he won the potentially nonexistent bet he has made with his friends. But if he brings it up, then I think it would be safe to assume that I have been freaking out over nothing.