Silk || hs

*Not an Update: My Harry Styles Concert*

Okay y'all, I know you're probably expecting the next chapter in Silk, and I am writing it diligently; however, I could not in good conscious refrain from sharing my concert experience. Because let me tell you, it is absurdly surreal and I'm really not even sure it happened.

I have a really good video of Harry spitting water at the end of Kiwi linked at the end, so even if you don't feel like reading this, go watch it to save your soul bc it's beautiful.

So, back in November, my friend and I bought tickets to Harry's show in Nashville, and after months and months of waiting, the date finally arrived. I went to work that morning and whilst I was on my break, I had a sudden thought. I wondered how much the tickets I had bought in November were selling for now, so I looked on Ticketmaster. To my horror, they were selling for about one fourth of the price I paid so I was kind of bummed, not gonna lie. But regardless of my slight disappointment, I figured, "hey, I'm still seeing Harry Styles tonight, life is going to be AWESOME."

So I get home from work and while I'm in the shower, I was having this internal debate about the tickets and whether or not I should check to see if there were cheap ones that were in a better location (because ours were on the third tier of the venue). Finally, I said to myself, "fuck it. If there are seats near the front under a certain amount, I'm going to do it."

Low and behold, I found some and bought them because I'm actually insane lol and Mind you, this is the most spontaneous thing I've ever done. I do not simply drop that much cash with so little thought. Ever.

So there I was with four tickets to Harry Styles, and I had two dear friends who earnestly desired to attend. I called them up and told them that if they could make to my house by four, the tickets were theirs and we would all ride together. Needless to say, they were shook.

We drove the three hours to Nashville and make our way into the arena, and I had been high key worried about the location of my new seats. Because for real, it would have been my luck to be right behind a speaker and not see anything at all. But, when we asked the lady where the seats were, she said they were down the stairs and I was like bruh, how close are we? As we were looking for our row, we just kept getting closer and closer to the stage, and I am thinking, "this is fake."

Finally, we find our seats, and somehow, by the glorious grace and generosity of God, I HAD PURCHASED SECOND ROW TICKETS FOR HARRY FUCKING STYLES ON THE DAY OF THE CONCERT WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT

So at this point, my friend and I are losing our shit, because we're both simply too surprised and excited to function properly. And I thought we were freaking out then.

When the lights went out and the Harry's curtain started lifting while playing the intro to Only Angel, I literally felt my heart stop for a second because it had just hit me. I was about forty feet away from HARRY FUCKING STYLES.

He was so funny, and I really didn't know I needed to hear him talk about barbecue until now, but I really did and it was so amusing. And lol he forgot to sing happy birthday to that Heather chick because he was distracted by the man from Memphis who got excited about barbecue😂😂

So yeah, essentially, it was the actual best night of my life and genuinely can't fathom anything that could possibly top it. Like for real guys, when he came around the side of the stage, he was legitimately about fifteen feet away from me. I made eye contact with him at some point during "Just A Little Bit of Your Heart" and I nearly DIED. The way he looks at you is literally one of the most intimidating things I've ever experienced. Like he just has so much confidence, I was just like I am worthless piece of garbage.

And of course y'all know this, but Harry is so damn beautiful. Like I could see the texture of his skin and the dimples in his cheeks. And that thing he does when he licks his lips and sucks on the inside of his cheek. LIKE GUYS. He is so slim and the way those blue pants looked on his butt, I genuinely can't even handle it.

I will say my view of him has changed a lot though. Like before, I think I always idealized him as this gorgeously flawless human, but like seeing him so close up, I realized that he is just like someone you might meet at the grocery store. He's a real person with flesh and blood who has to work just like the rest of us. He has complex feelings and relationships that we will never know about and I don't know, it just humanized him so much in my mind. I mean, obviously, he is way more attractive than any male I know, but like seeing him the way I did last night just made me realize how real he is.

I will say though, I think seeing him in person really did give me closure? ...if that makes sense? Like I feel like I'm not hopelessly obsessed with him anymore, I just have this insane appreciation for everything he does and the way he conducts himself on and off stage. Fuck, I love him so much.

So, I recorded parts of the songs so I'll put them below.... only parts though bc ya girl had to dance you feel?

Only Angel

Woman

Two Ghosts

Carolina

Medicine

The Chain

KIWI

THE WHALE

That last one gives me heart palpitations. I hope y'all have enjoyed this lol

(I'll have a new chapter of silk probably tomorrow!)