The Exchange (Michael Clifford Fanfic)

Chapter 39

I waited anxiously at home doing my homework, painting my nails, rearranging my closet/ room. Just finding things to do before Michael got home. I knew Luke told him, I could feel it. I hope I didn’t ruin anything, especially their friendship. I would convince Michael that it was all my fault so I wouldn’t end things with him and Luke. The more I thought about it the more I cried, the more I hated myself.

I don’t know what has gotten into me. I would never hurt someone that I care about, sabotage their feelings for my own personal selfish desires. I hated myself. Although, wallowing in my own pity wouldn’t solve anything. I needed to be there for Michael and tell him how fucked up I was and how sorry I was.

My heart sank down to the fiery pits of hell and literally sat on the edge of my bed waiting to hear Michael’s footsteps. I hear him go straight upstairs and to the bathroom. I sat listening to him shower, waiting for him to finish. I needed to talk to him. It probably wasn’t a good time though, but I needed to do it.

I hear him exit the bathroom and walk into his room. I place my ear to the door and hear the cracking of a can. I knock lightly and open the door a little letting my head poke though. He looks at me with a blank face and brings the beer to his face and stares at me. “What?” He says shortly. He walks over to the mini fridge in his room and grabs a bottle of Calico Jack from the freezer portion.

“What are you drinking?” I whisper. “Cali. What’s it to you?” He spits, taking three large gulps. “Can I have some.” I mutter walking toward his bed. “Get the fuck out.” He growls, although my feet keep walking toward him. I sit on the edge of the bed. He continues to chug the bottle.

Shoves the bottle into my hands and I take a few large gulps. Shivering as I feel the heat run down the insides of my stomach. The alcohol quickly setting in. “You don’t love me.” He chuckles to himself. “That’s not true.” I say turning toward him.

I hand him he bottle and he takes another gulp quickly handing it back to me. “I’ve never hurt someone before. I feel like I was involved in a murder suicide. I don’t even have feeling in my heart after thinking about what I just did to you. I’m sorry Mikey.” I utter slowly, picking at my fingers before I take another swig from the bottle.

“You called me Mikey.” He says simply. “Oh well yeah, that’s your name isn’t it.” I say laughing almost while starting to cry. “Why did you do it?” He asks moving closer to me. “I don’t know, I was trying to mend me and Luke’s friendship and then all that stuff happened. I didn’t go over there for a hook up Mikey. I promise.” I ramble.

“I know you didn’t plan on doing it, but it did happen. And now I don’t know how I can ever trust you.” He says honestly. And as soon as the words left his mouth I couldn’t stop the tears coming down. My tear ducts were really weak and I would wipe away a tear was soon to be replaced by another. I take one more sip from the bottle. “Here.” I choke and my voice cracks while handing him the bottle back.

“Hey.” He whispered to me. “Mhmm?” I say choking on my own tears. He takes one more sip from the bottle and sits it on the ground. He sighs heavily, “even though you messed up… I love you.” He mutters.

“I know.” I whisper back.

not the best update, but hey i'm updating everyday! alsoooo, thank you for all the reads. i think im at 1.5k now eeek! 

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