A Love For Keeps

Lies

(DAYU)

I hid my face on Qing's shoulder as we lay on the bed together. I feel so ashamed, I don't think I can face him again.

"You don't have to feel ashamed about anything," I heard Qing sigh.

I peered at him a little, "It's embarrasing. I cried," I feel teary again as I remember how shameful I am. "Who cry after having an orgasm?" I asked.

I know, what Qing made me feel is my first taste of sex.

Qing didn't answer except for the rumble on his chest and some choking sounds. When I look to see what is happening, I saw him controlling his laughter.

I feel more embarrased. "Why are you laughing?!" I want to punch him. Now he is laughing at me? He is being mean.

"Nothing, I just..." Qing chuckled, "I just remembered something when you asked who cry after coming."

"Why? You know someone else who is like me?" I asked.

Qing turned his head to look at me and nodded, "Yes. Me. I also cried when I got my first orgasm."

I was floored, "You...cried too? Why?"

Qing shook his head, "I don't know. It was an intense moment for me, I guess. I was in my room, watching porn on an old laptop, jerking myself off, then I suddenly came and I was so shocked, I cried."

I don't know what to make of that story, "How old were you when it happened?"

Qing frowned, "Twelve? Thirteen? Around that age, I guess. Because I remember a couple of years just passed and I got rid of my virginity. So around that time,"

I laid my head on his shoulder again, "That is not the same at all. You were only thirteen, I am twenty five. Yet, I still cried. I am pathetic,"

"Hey, you are not pathetic." Qing lifted my chin with one finger to stare at my eyes. "And don't mind the age, it doesn't matter. This is still a first for you. And it was intense. I will worry if you didn't have a big reaction to it. It will mean I did something wrong. An orgasm is supposed to be intense, Dayu. And I am glad I delivered for you,"

I nodded, "You did. Deliver."

Qing caressed my cheek tenderly, "Did you like it? Do you think you will want to feel that again?"

Is he seriously asking me that? I thought to myself. But Qing looks serious so I answered honestly, "Yes. And yes," I said before smiling shyly at him.

Qing's lips stretched into a wide smile before he laughed boisterously. Happily. He pulled me closer to his side and kissed my forehead.

"You always delight me," he said before sighing.

I flattened a hand on top of his chest. Feeling his skin and the muscles underneath. Remembering what he said about the wonder of touching another man's body. Smooth and rough. Soft and hard.

Qing is very intuitive. And he is right. There is something truly pleasant in touching a man's body. His in particular.

"I grew up thinking that this is wrong. Being with a guy is wrong," I said while tapping a fingertip on his chest. "That it's a sin, even..."

"And...?"

"And now I am confuse. How can something feel so beautiful be wrong? How can something so good be a sin? How?" I leaned up again to brace my body against his and look down at his face. "You feel it too, right? I am not the only one feeling it...right?"

"What do you feel?" Qing asked as he touch a lock of my hair. Gazing up at me with a look in his eyes that if I will categorize, I would say adoration.