Love You Long Time (Duncan Keith)

30| Facing Fears

Duncan

"Why am I here" I ask Brent as he pushes me into the practice arena. The very very empty practice arena. It was about 11 at night after all.

"Because you don't know any better" he claims and I roll my eyes. 

"I'm tired of being at the ice rink. That's all we do now that we're trying to fit half of a season into a third of the schedule. Don't you ever get tired of the ice" I question.

"First of all, no, I don't. Second of all you're not here to skate" he claims.

"How was I supposed to know that if you never told me where we are going or why we're here" I ask.

"I honestly didn't think I would have gotten this far in my plan. You kinda just agreed to go on a ride with me without a real explanation, I didn't think it would be this easy. Hopefully that means Dayna's plans are going just as well" he admits.

"Dayna? What does she have to do with this" I wonder.

"It was kind of her idea" he admits.

"What was" I question.

"To lock you and Alyssa in the same place until you guys can figure things out" he says and I stop walking. He runs into me as I turn into him.

"Have you lost your fucking mind" I whisper yell.

"No Duncan... you have" he claims.

"Me? All I said was the truth. I don't regret a single thing I said. She's was the one who shot me down like we didn't spend the best four years of our lives together" I argue.

"You always talk about how you feel, how you hurt or what you're thinking. But not once did you ask her how she's feeling. You never asked her how her day was or what issues she was fighting on top of the ones you brought out of her. I know you love her and I know you want to be with her, but a relationship consists of two people, not you and the thought of her. You have to remember that" he says.

"I can't do this" I say trying to walk away. He presses a hand to my chest and stops me.

"You have to. And if you can't do it for yourself then do it for her. She's been hurting the past few days, more than you will ever know. And it's not my place to tell you why but you do need to hear it. Just listen to her and hear her out. She needs someone but she doesn't need just anyone. She needs you" he claims.

"I will never be what she needs me to be" I whisper.

"Not if you walk away right now you won't" he promises me and I sigh. I feel my chest tighten as I think about having to talk to her right now.

"What do I say" I ask.

"I can't tell you that buddy. Only you will know" he claims.

"I kind of just want to lay down and die right now" I admit.

"Come on Duncs, you can do it" he says as he pushes me forward once again as we head back to our destination.

He takes me out to the rink and up the stairs. He gives me a little shove and I stumble into the bleacher section that was for fans to watch practice. I look over and see Alyssa sitting at the top of the bleachers staring at the ice. The Blackhawks emblem was the only thing lit up down there making it stand out. It was kind of hard to see but it was defiantly her and something was defiantly wrong.

I walk over and silently sit down next to her. I could feel something wasn't right but it wasn't just what was happening between us. It was deeper than that and she's been suffering by herself because I haven't been there for her.

"I'm sorry" she says softly and I let out a sigh. I hate how weak she made me.

"Why on earth are you apologizing" I ask.

"Because I haven't been fair to you. I know you love me and I tell you I love you constantly but don't do anything about it. I've been stringing you along for entirely too long and I'm not even sure why you still want to be with me" she sniffles.

"Lyssa, I will always want to be with you. Every part of me will always want every part of you. Nothing can change that. But I'm tired" I admit.

"Tired of what" she asks.

"I'm tired of crawling" I sigh. "My hands hurt, my knees hurt. There's cuts and bruises and it pains me to keep pulling myself across the concrete trying to chase after you. I can't crawl anymore" I explain.

"Then don't" she says.

"What do you mean don't" I ask.

"Then stop crawling, walk Duncan" she demands.

I look from her eyes to her lips back to her eyes again. I couldn't stop myself this time and I quickly grab her face and crash my lips against hers. She meets my aggression then doubles it as she slams her body against mine knocking us into a wall. I feel all the air get sucked out of my lungs as the familiar taste of her lips enter my body. I slowly massage the back of her neck as her fingers get tangled in my shirt.

I haven't felt such a feeling since we were last together. No one made me feel the way she did, no one was even close.

We slowly moved apart as her grip on my shirt stays tight. My forehead rests on hers as she stays in my arms.

"Why did you let me do that" I ask.

"Because I wanted you to" she claims.

"But Michael-" I start.

"We broke up the other day" she cuts me off and I stop. I look in her eyes and I can see she was devastated. I could tell something was off but I didn't know it was that.

"Why" I ask.

"Why do you think" she asks.

"Because of me" I say slowly.

"He told me I had to choose. I could either be around you and Tristan or him, not both. And it was close until I remembered how cute Tristan was" she smirks and I laugh.

"Now is not the time" I warn her.

"I know" she sighs.

"Why did you choose me" I ask.

"Because Michael was good, but he wasn't good for me. He was everything I wasn't afraid of and that's why I loved him. I loved that he couldn't hurt me and I loved that he was the exact opposite of you. He was everything I needed him to be. But I don't want to be safe anymore. I don't want to dress up for dates or act like I don't like hockey. I love hockey" she giggles.

"So what does this mean" I ask.

"It means everything" she claims.

I wrap my arm around her and pull her into my side. I kiss the top of her head as she rests it on my shoulder.

"I love you" I remind her.

"I love you too Dunky."