Time After Time

15 - Nothingness

I know I need to explain how we - I got here. It feels stupid to have to explain your own story. Yet, I know it's confusing, I'm still confused.

I don't want to do this as an author note, that's not how I wrote this. It's just... I needed to do this. I needed to die, for Mello to live. Because he matters more than I ever could.

So take a deep breath - I needed an artifact. To change things. The Primary Universe had become the Tangent Universe, and it couldn't stay that way, it needed to be reversed back.

The elements I used for time travel? Mello's freaking missile and the ocean it landed in.

The artefact was the Death Note that the shinigami dropped in The Human World. I'm still not entirely sure if it was Ryuk's or Sidoh's, it doesn't matter at this stage.

I started this time loop when I first wrote in Takada's Death Note. And that started this whole mess. I did that to get revenge for Mello, and the rest happened the way it did.

The only thing I know for sure in all of this, is that I love Mello. I always will, and he won't remember me now but that doesn't matter. He's going to help solve the Kira case, he's possibly going to fall in love with someone else. As long as he finds some bit of happiness, then I don't give a shit. He's worth everything, every loss I've suffered.

Whoa ok, can I stop being a stupid sappy girl now?

I was the living receiver, I caused the fire in the church, I made it happen by telekinesis and my own powers I'd earned with the 'title.' I made it happen to stall his plan, so my body burned to ashes instead of his.

I'm now the Manipulated Dead. I'm not meant to be both, but I'll watch over Mello, or under him if Nothingness is down with Hell. The point is, actually I don't know the point.

Would someone be so stupid as to give up their life for another? Or to do that, did they want to die anyway and it gave them an excuse?

Who knows?