I looked into the full length mirror and brushed my hands down my dress. My hair was in lose curls that hung gracefully over the scalloped neck of my dress. The sleeves came down to my elbows and stopped. I sniffled softly. Namjoon appeared in the mirror behind me wearing his best full black suit and tie. His hair was neat. He walked up to me and stopped.
"Are you ready?" He asked gently.
I looked at him through the mirror and slowly turned around. I held my hands clasped gingerly in front of me.
"No." I whispered.
I could feel the tears in my eyes already. Namjoon's face dropped. He opened his arms.
"Come here." He said softly.
I walked closer to him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He wrapped his arms gently around me. We stayed still for a few seconds before breaking apart. He went over to the night stand and grabbed my phone, slipping it in his pocket. He came back over to me and softly grabbed my hand. His fingers laced through mine. We walked out of the bedroom hand in hand, Namjoon leading in front of me. We walked down the hallway, down the fifteen stairs, through the main living space and to the front door. We unlaced our fingers and went to grab our shoes. Namjoon grabbed his best black dress shoes while I grabbed my best black heels. Once our shoes were on, Namjoon grabbed my hand and we exited the house. We walked out to the black car that was waiting for us in the driveway. Marcus was standing outside of it. He was wearing his all black suit and tie as well. He opened the back driver's side door and held it open. Once we reached the car, Namjoon let go of my hand and let me get into the car first. I stepped into the car and scooted over so Namjoon could get in. Once Namjoon was in, Marcus closed the door and got into the driver's seat.
"Is someone getting the rest of the boys and mom?" I asked.
"Yes." Marcus responded.
I nodded slightly. Marcus pulled out of the driveway and started toward the cemetery. Namjoon grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly.
After a few minutes, we arrived at the funeral home. Marcus parked the car and got out. He came around to the driver's side back door and opened it. Namjoon and I unbuckled our seat belts. Namjoon got out of the car first. I scooted over to the edge of the seat on the other side of the car. Namjoon extended his hand to me. I took it and stepped carefully out of the car. Once I was out, Marcus closed the door. I looked around. The boys were getting out of two black cars just like ours. There was one more black car exactly like ours already parked. There was no one in the vehicle.
We started walking into the funeral home. Once we got to the front entrance, Marcus held the door opened as we walked in. I hesitantly stepped inside the building. I immediately saw my mother talking to the home manager. Behind her was the casket. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. We walked closer to my mother. When we got to her, we stopped. I glanced over her shoulder at the casket. I took a quiet deep breath. The home manager turned to us and bowed with only his head before leaving. My mother turned to me.
"You look beautiful." She said.
There were tears in her eyes too. I moved closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. She wrapped her arms around me. We embraced for a short while before letting each other go. I could smell the alcohol on her. It was as if she had bathed in it.
"You've been drinking." I whispered.
"We have about twenty minutes alone with her before the others get here." She said.
"You walked away from her." I hissed.
She walked out of the room. I didn't have the will to pursue her so I turned to face the casket. The top part was open so you could see her peaceful face. I walked slowly toward the casket, each step more painful to take than the last. Once I reached the casket, I placed my hands on the edge. Her eyes were closed, just like the last time I saw her. Her face was slightly flushed and her hair was neatly brushed. A tear slipped into my cheek. I reached my hand out and lightly touched her face. I secretly hoped she would awaken at my touch, hug me and tell me everything was okay.
