Debuts are one of the scariest things ever. You work your heart out for months making songs, perfecting choreography, and putting together a whole set. You put so much effort into into this one performance and the rest of your career is in the hands of the fans. Is the music you created good enough for them to love or will they absolutely hate it? Is the choreography cool enough for them to love or will they hate it? Will they love you the moment you walk out onto the stage or will that be the moment that they decide to end your career?
My debut was extremely nerve wracking but I managed to keep myself calm enough to perform. I convinced myself that all of my Korean fans from when I was an American-based artist would rise up and support me as an idol.
And the fans did rise up. Once they found out it was me, hundreds of fans spread my music around and supported me. I started trending on Twitter, causing me to gain more followers and also causing a few conspiracies.
Those were definitely not the first thing on my mind right now. Right now, my mind was completely on my first Korean music awards show.
I sat in the car gripping my dress. I wore a black off the shoulder dress that went down to my thighs. My hands were shaking from how nervous I was. I stared out the window and kept my eyes of the moving pavement.
After a while, the car stopped. I looked around. There were cameras and a lot of people. I saw the boys getting in place on the red carpet to take pictures. Jinwoo opened my car door. I carefully stepped out and moved out of the way. Jinwoo closed the door and placed a gentle hand on my back. He guided me to my spot on the carpet to take pictures. I was a good thirty feet away from the boys. I smiled.
I posed for a few pictures and did a short interview before being guided to my seat. The boys were a few seats away from me.
I spaced out without realizing it. When I spaced back in, they were announcing the new artist award. I started paying attention. I was nominated for the award but I seriously doubted I would win it.
"The award for New Artist goes to.." The announcer said.
I stared at the floor.
"Myeon!" The announcer said enthusiastically.
I looked up at the stage at the sound of my stage name. My heart skipped a beat. Everyone stood up and started clapping for me. I started moving toward the end of the row. I passed the boys, bowing to each of them as I went by. I quickly bowed to everyone as I walked up to the stage. By the time I got to the stage, there were tears in my eyes. I bowed to the announcer and accepted my award before walking to the microphone. Everyone was cheering for me. I took a deep breath.
"I am so honored to be presented with this award and I'm so thankful to everyone who has supported me along the way. I could not have made it here without them. I love you guys! Thank you!" I said, a couple tears slipping onto my cheeks.
I walked off the stage and back to my seat. I was still in shock. I never though I would win awards when I debuted.
The rest of the night was a blur. I remembered the boys winning a couple awards but I couldn't remember which ones. The next thing I remembered, the award show was over. I stood up, grabbed my award, and walked over to the boys. I hugged each of them and congratulated them on their wins. They congratulated me on my first Korean award. Jungkook and Yoongi stood next to me while Namjoon stood across from me.
"I think we should celebrate together." Jimin said.
Everyone agreed.
"Should we go back to our dorm or should we go to the studio?" Namjoon asked.
