Four Months Later
The sun poured into the room, lighting it up. I turned my back to it and covered my face. I groaned before finally sitting up. I let my feet hang over the edge of the bed and rest on the floor. I hung my head and took a deep breath.
The last four months were rough. A month after we buried my sister, I had to bury my mother.
Two months after we buried Marissa, I left America. I packed up my things and gave the house to Marcus. Too many things reminded me of what I had lost. I was too far away from the only family I had left. I accepted PD-nim's offer and signed a label with BigHit Entertainment. I was a solo artist with the freedom to produce the songs I wanted. Yes, there were still rules and conditions but they were much less harsh. So, I packed up my stuff and moved to South Korea. Bang PD had a dorm for me down the street from the boys.
Two weeks after that, I got a call from Marcus telling me that he couldn't move to Korea with me. His wife was pregnant.
Two weeks ago, I recorded my first song with BigHit.
One week ago, I started having negative thoughts again. I tried my best to still go to the studio and get work done.
Today, negative thoughts swarmed my head. I kept thinking about Marissa, how she was too young. I kept thinking about my mother. Why did she do what she did? How could she walk out on Marissa when she was dying? How could she leave me when I needed her? How could she do that to me when she knew how much I hurting already? For the first time in years, I thought about my father.
He left me when I needed him most. There was no goodbye, no letter, no calls, no texts. One day, he was in my life and the next, he just disappeared.
The only people I had left to love me were Marcus and the boys.
I lifted my head and looked at the wall. I pushed myself up off the edge of the bed and walked into my bathroom. I turned on the light and looked into the mirror. My hair was all over the place and it looked bad. My face was red and puffy. I sighed and turned to my right. I walked toward the shower, opened the door and turned on the water. I quickly undressed and stepped into the shower. I stood under the water and let it run over my head. I closed my eyes. After what seemed like a few minutes, I opened my eyes and pushed my hair back. I began to wash my hair.
After what seemed like twenty minutes, I was done washing up. I turned off the water and rung out my hair. I grabbed one of the towels that were hanging over the top of the shower and wrapped my hair in it. I grabbed the other towel and dried myself off. I then opened the door and stepped out of the shower. I closed the door. I wrapped the towel snuggly around my body. I then unwrapped the towel on my hair and let my wet hair fall down my back. I placed the towel on the counter and opened one of the drawers under the counter top. I took my hairbrush out of the drawer and brushed through my hair. Once all the knots were out, I set the brush on the counter top.
Opened the drawer again and pulled out my hair dryer. I set it on the counter and closed the drawer. I plugged the hair dryer in and turned it on. I grabbed my hair brush and started drying my hair.
As I was drying my hair, I looked into the mirror at myself.
I spaced out and when I snapped back into reality, my hair was almost dry. I ran the brush through my hair as I dried it. Once my hair was completely dry, I turned off the hair dryer and set it on the counter. I set the brush next to it. I opened the drawer again and pulled out my straightener. I unplugged the hair dryer and plugged in the straightener. I turned the straightener on and set it on the counter as it heated up.
