GUCCI BOY//kth

44.) anxiety

________

•••
"I'm learning to live without
you and I still haven't
decided if that is a good
thing"

-Avdicy
•••

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Cassia's POV

Living with anxiety wasn't easy. Cassia felt like she had been dealing with the mental illness ever since she could remember even though she knew she hadn't always been suffering from it.

The times anxiety was just another foreign word to her were so long gone though, that they seemed like nothing more than a distant, blurry memory. Almost like an illusion.

Some days were good, others not so much.

On some days the smallest crowds could feel suffocating, going out in public becoming a challenge.

Some days Cassia got paranoid about being followed or people watching her every step. She called them grey days in her head. Days her anxiety was bad. Days her past followed her like a shadow, clinging to her, weighing her down..

Sometimes even breathing could become a challenge, socializing absolutely impossible. Ever since she's been with Taehyung those days, the grey days had been occuring less and less. Now that Jungkook was back it had gotten even better.

It wasn't about being with other people, sometimes Cassia could feel the most lonely in the biggest crowds, it was about the security they brought with them. The trust Cassia had in them.

Taehyung, Jungkook, Jin, Yoongi..

In a way they were her light, of course they couldn't fully fight off the darkness, the dullness of grey days but that only made Cassia appreciate good days even more.

Today was a good day. They were walking through the city, hand in hand, Cassia was even skipping a bit, a certain giddy sprung to her step, through crowds of people, Paris dipped into loud noise, traffic, chatter, yet Cassia walked as tall as ever. No anxiety, the world was in colour.

Taehyung noticed, he smiled down at the grinning brunette. "You're gonna be terribly disspointed once we get to the interview. It's gonna be pretty boring, I'm afraid"

"I don't mind" Cassia mumbled, head tilted up to look at the baby blue clear sky.

"You sure you don't wanna go explore the city a bit? I'll be a few hours" Taehyung said.

Marla was walking ahead, talking on the phone in fluent French.

"Hmm I actually wanna listen to what you have to say Mr supermodel" she nudged his side, blue dress twirling as she took big steps to keep up with his long legs.

When Taehyung noticed he slowed down a bit. "Have your legs recently gotten shorter or how come I've never noticed how slow you walk?" he laughed. Cassia let out a loud gasp.

"Why are you constantly bullying me, oh my god. I'm sorry we can't all be giants with insanely long legs!" Cassia huffed, taking even bigger steps but still only barely able to keep up.

"You could also just carry me, as long as you stop throwing me over your shoulders like a sack of potatoes I wouldn't mind being carried" she added.