GUCCI BOY//kth

58.) gone girl

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"That isn't armor
you've wrapped yourself in

That's a cage."

-L.E. Bowman
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Yoongi's POV

His tired eyes were focused on Cassia. She had fallen asleep on his shoulder, maybe he would've nudged her awake if she didn't look so at peace right now. He knew how much she could use a bit of sleep. They had been awake for over 24 hours.

The seats in economy were crammed together and pretty uncomfortable, of course there had to be a kid sat right behind him, kicking his seat and loudly complaining to his parents every five minutes. Oh, how he despised flying.

"Something to drink for you, Sir?"

The coffee was too hot and tasted shitty but he gulped it down in quick chugs before the taste could overtake his tastebuds. He popped a piece of mint gum in his mouth afterwards.

He felt exhausted but there was no way he could fall asleep on this godforsaken airplane. A few more hours, he told himself, only a few more hours. Grey clouds blocked most of the view the small window provided but Yoongi found himself getting lost in the midst of them anyways. For some reason, they calmed him. Grey was such a neutral colour that he could feel himself get lost in it. His eyes couldn't handle bright colours or sunlight right now.

Cassia let out what sounded like a sigh in her sleep as she slightly adjusted her position against Yoongi's shoulder. He made sure her head had enough support. Very gently, he pushed some of her long hair out of her face. She had cried again, only a bit, very few silent tears but Yoongi hadn't missed them.

He was such a fool. They were both fools, complete idiots. How on earth had Cassia convinced him to run off with her? They had brought close to nothing with them. Only money, credit cards, ids, their passports and the clothes they had on. Nothing else. Cassia told him there was no time for packing. He left his phone behind. He agreed to leave his home, his studio, everything.

Because he had to come with her. After he had seen the look in her eyes, after he had heard her explaination, he knew he had to come. Because if he hadn't, Cassia would have left without him and if anything ever happened to her, he would never be able to forgive himself.

He realized it now more clearly than before. Cassia really was his closest friend. It had been a long time since he had last trusted someone as much as he trusted Cassia right now. He had been betrayed in the past, backstabbed, let down when he most needed a true friend..so yes, it was hard for him to learn how to trust again.

He had almost felt that way with Leia. But she wanted more. And in a way he did too. He couldn't allow that to happen though because he wasn't even close to ready for comittment, he wasn't ready for a relationship and he knew he could never be just friends with Leia again after they had gotten closer. He would always want more and that couldn't happen, so he had to reject her, cut her off. They hadn't talked since. He missed her but the loss was bareable, he stopped it before he could grow too attached.

With Cassia, he knew it was too late for that. She could ask him to jump off a bridge with her and he would most likely do it. He would never admit that to her though. He felt this burning need to protect her, not just from the world but also from herself and this was his way of doing just that.