Dead Inside

Chapter Three No more hurt today

Every year my sister and I are sent off to our aunties farm for the mid-year holidays. This year will be a little different however as she has moved to an apartment in the city and Madison told Mum she needs to go to dance camp so I will be there alone most of the time since my auntie has to work. I should be able to get up to all sorts of mischief. I didn't think Mum and Dad were going to send me still but I managed to convince them.

I pack my suitcase Thursday night, making sure I stuff my party clothes at the bottom. I probably won't get many nights out but with my Auntie gone all day I'll still be able to go out. I'll pick up a whole new type of guy. The town I live in isn't tiny but we are out in the burbs so there's not much hustle and bustle and everyone kind of knows each other. I've always seen myself as more of a city girl and plan to move there as soon as I graduate. It's easy to be anonymous in the city and if there's anything I cherish above all else it's anonymity.

Mum drives me to the bus station first thing Friday morning. The second I take my suitcase from the boot of the car she speeds away without a backwards glance. I trundle my way to the bus stop and sit with my headphones on and my sketchbook on my lap. When the bus pulls in I load my suitcase and find myself a window seat down the back.

I gaze out the window and watch the scenery pass by. I manage to keep a free seat next to me until an hour from the city when an old lady sat down. She immediately started asking me all sorts of inappropriate question despite the fact that I had my headphones on. I gave one-word answers to things like what my name was, what school I went to, where I was going, why I was alone, did I have a boyfriend, why not, was I too picky or something, what was in my book, and many more in that vein. I grit my teeth and hope the time will pass quicker.

Finally, we pull into the depot. Not a moment too soon. I was about 30 seconds away from strangling her. She takes her sweet arse time getting up and gathering her things. By the time she moves out of the way everyone else is off the bus. I finally get off and grab my case. I look around to see if I can see my Auntie. She's nowhere to be seen so I find a seat outside. Five minutes later I get a phone call. I check the caller ID and see that it's my Auntie.

"Hello."

"I'm so sorry sweetie. I forgot I was getting you today. I messaged Leah and she said it was tomorrow you were coming in. Then I got a reminder on my phone just now saying it was today. I can't believe I forgot. I'm on the other side of the city so it's going to take me ages to get – "

"Auntie Meg. Auntie Meg. It's ok. I'll catch a cab to your place and wait for you to finish work. It's totally fine."

"Oh sweetie. The spare key is inside a lock box under the front apartment window sill. It's the third from the left with a big blue moon on the front. The combination is 1497. It'll open the main door as well as the apartment. I'm on the 7th floor. Apartment 724. I'll be back by 6 ok. Help yourself to anything. See you soon. Love you."

"Love you too Auntie Meg." I hang up the phone and google the closest bus route to her apartment building. There's one in 5 minutes across the road. I make my way over there and wait for it. Luckily, it's not very full so it's no problem dragging my suitcase on.

It's only 10 minutes to her place and the stop is almost directly out the front. I have no trouble finding the lock box or grabbing the key but when I get inside I groan when I discover that the lift is out of order. I could not think of anything worse than climbing seven levels with my stupid suitcase. By the time I bust out of the stairwell on her floor I'm covered in sweat and panting noisily.

I almost fall through her front door when I get it unlocked and collapse on the couch heaving for breath. It takes a good 15 minutes for me to recover my strength. I go in search of my room and when I find it I dump my bags inside and head to the kitchen for food. There isn't much to choose from except for some left over pizza that looks about a month old and a shrivelled-up tomato. In the cupboard I find some 2-minute noodles and a few muesli bars.