Dead Inside

Chapter Eight About what you think

After the study session on Thursday as I pack up my things Mr Jones calls me over to Mr Masons desk.

"I have a presentation in class tomorrow afternoon so I won't be able to make it here in time so if it's ok with you both could Roxanne meet me on campus to do the work." Mr Mason sighs at this. I however think this could be good. It will give me something to do before I try find somewhere to crash for the weekend.

"It's up to you Roxanne. I can give you the worksheet now and you can work on it tomorrow." I slowly nod my head.

"Thanks Roxanne I really appreciate this." Mr Jones says as we head out the door. He promises to send me the directions to a café on campus the following day.

I take a couple of changes of clothes to school the next day and get changed before I leave school. I dump my school books into my locker along with my school uniform, only keeping the notebook I'll need that afternoon and jump on the bus across town.

When I arrive on campus I stop in my tracks and just take it all in. There are people everywhere. Lounging in groups on the grass, walking and chatting with their friends, drinking coffee at the café. They all look so happy and carefree. I am instantly envious of their freedom to be themselves. I follow Mr Jones's instructions to a café in the middle of the campus and order myself a coffee before taking a seat at one of the outside tables. I pull out the worksheet and my notebook and pretend to work, instead I watch all the people walking past and sitting at the other tables. I have almost finished my coffee when my phone rings. It's Mr Jones.

"Hey Roxanne I just finished. Heading your way now. Do you want a coffee?" I shake my head before realising he can't see me

"No thank you."

"Ok I'll quickly grab one. Where are you sitting?"

"Outside."

"Ok be there in 10."

I return to my work and before long Mr Jones calls again. As I go to answer it he drops into the seat across from me.

"Sorry didn't recognise you without the school uniform. I missed lunch so I grabbed some sushi. Feel free to grab one they gave me two for one since it's the end of the day." I look up and see his head bent over his bag as he rummages inside. I grab one of the packets on the table and open it. Sushi is one of my favourite food and teriyaki chicken is the best, so there's no way I'm saying no to the offer.

"Thanks Mr Jones." I say before stuffing a piece in my mouth.

"No probs. And since we're not at school you can call me Max." He looks up then and I freeze mid chew. Oh no. This can't be happening. I have to get out of here before he recognises me. But it's too late. I see the widening of his eyes that means he remembers me. This is bad. Really bad.

"I have to go." I start shoving my things in my bag and the more I try to shove them in the more they fall out.

"Roxanne. Was that you...? At the club...? This doesn't make sense. What...? Wait don't go." He reaches out and grabs my flying hands. Stopping them from their scrabbling to repack my bag. I look at his hands then at his face. He stares at me in utter confusion. I feel the same way. This isn't supposed to happen. My two lives are supposed to be separate. And now they have crossed in the worst way possible. I slept with my teacher. Well teachers aide or whatever he is.

"I have to go." I repeat. I try to extract my hands from his grasp but he only tightens his grip.

"Please can we talk about this." He pleads. All I want to do is escape, but I'm going to have to face him at school so I guess we better sort this out now rather than in class.