Help Me Push Aside All the Things I've Left Behind (Tayley)

12: Stand Up, Be A Man About It.

Chapter 12:

Taylor’s POV:

My head was on the recliner of my couch. I was back in Nashville, I knew this because of the art that was hanging from the wall that I could see. It was dark outside, very late. I could tell by the silence that was coming from the streets. No cars where in sight, no early worms running or walking their dog. It was maybe 2am. I felt my body numb, much like I do when I’m intoxicated.

Maybe I was drinking earlier tonight and that is why I was very confused on my surroundings.

As if I couldn’t be more out of place, I felt someone stir from right beside me. I turned my head expecting to see Hayley. But I was wrong, there was dark hair, very long black hair that covered a pale face. I felt my heart stop at the realization that we were both under a small blanket covering our bare bodies.

My stomach began feeling sick when the girl next to me opened her eyes. Blue eyes stared at me and smiled. A smile of satisfaction. I felt myself get sick, physically sick, as guilt began to take shape and rush through my whole body.

“Hi.” Baylie spoke to me. And I couldn’t get one word out. My mind couldn’t form words for me to say. I just stared into her haunting blue eyes with regret my entire existence.

Next she climbed on me and began to trail kisses on my neck. And I couldn’t move a single muscle. I couldn’t find the strength to get her off me. I wanted to scream. Tell her to get off me. But my whole body seemed to shut down.

Then I awoke….

I was drenched in sweat and filled with fear.

It was all a dream. That never happened. The previous night I didn’t get much further than kissing. I couldn’t let myself do that to her. Not her, she meant too much to me.

I sighed in relief looking down to see her snuggled up against me.

I kissed her head softly. Not enough to wake her though, for that was not my intention.

Within me I knew that the dream I had wasn’t just a random dream to have. It was my conscious telling me that I have to tell Hayley about what could have happened with blue eyes. Baylie was still fresh on my mind and I couldn’t shake her off. I knew that this was all my guilt manifesting itself in a form a memory.

I wanted to tell her. I almost did last night. But she pushed the subject away. As much as I wanted to get it off my chest, something crazy overpowered me the moment her lips fell on mine. I no longer had control over any sense of my body. Not the mental, not the emotional, not the spiritual, and especially not the physical. She controlled my every move with just one simple touch. Anything I wanted to say to her, anything I wanted to get off my chest; she completely made me forget. But I guess I should be accustomed to that part of our relationship.

As I turned my attention to her sleeping angelic face, I realized how truly amazing she was. She fit into my life so perfectly and I couldn’t figure out how I ever truly lived without her by my side. Without her telling me she loved me every night and every morning. I don’t want to live without her. I can’t.

I examined her face. I examined every detail of it. A warm smile crept on my face. She was truly beautiful. A beauty that will haunt me even in my dreams. A beauty that accompanies me when I feel so alone. This person is my everything and I wondered how someone could be so perfect for me?

She was everything I needed in my life. It’s like she was specially made just for me. Then I came up with the conclusion that God must have spent a little more time on her. (*NSYNC REFRENCE!)