Buy me flowers| PJM

F. 10

"I will announce the top three teams for tonight in a random way."

My brother and Jimin didn't get anything till now. So either it's everything, either it's nothing. I believe in them, I believe in them so bad. But the truth is that the other contestants were really good as well. Unexpectedly good.

The MC calls out two teams who jump around the stage out of excitement. I can basically feel my heart beating in my throat. This is their ultimate chance to the podium.

"Jung Hoseok and Park Jimin!"

Me and JungKook jump unconsciously out of our seats, clapping frenetically. A lot of other people were cheering as well, I guess they liked their performance.

Or they simply liked the boys. I can't judge them though.

Jimin and Hobi smile happily and hug each other brotherly.

It's weird, I tell myself. Seeing this stranger acting so nice and brotherly towards my brother... Especially because his attitude towards me is so different, it's just strange. It just makes me feel like he's a double-faced guy, fake attitude and stuff like this.

But there's also something that holds me back from judging him.

"I will now call out the third place!"

Seconds feel like years right now. I can almost hear my heartbeat and I wonder if JungKook can hear it too. It seems so loud to me, so loud that I can't hear anything else. It's just my pulse that rings in my ears, like I've running a mile. I watch the stage without blinking. I feel the surface of my eyes going dry, but I just couldn't tear my eyes from them.

"Chan Hyunsoo, Chan Hyunmin and Lee Suhan."

The three dancers look at each other with a slightly disappointed expression but eventually hug each other, in the applause of the crowd.

They're either winning the second place or the first one. The first one.

They have to win the first place.

"I will now announce the winner of this year's edition!" the MC says and loud cheers ring in my years, everybody clapping around me.

My heartbeat seems to ring even louder in my ears now. There was so much tension in the air that it could basically be cut with a knife. I can't hear anything, I can feel anything. I'm numb. I'm not even breathing anymore. I am holding my breath as I wait for the name of the winner to be called out. I am waiting for Hobi and Jimin's names to be said, announcing the name of the winners.

I'm waiting for so long that I start to see black spots. My heart almost stops when the MC finally speaks again.

He says the names of the winners and people start clapping and cheering the next second.

But those are not the voices of the people who were cheering alongside us for Hobi and Jimin.

The names of the winners are not theirs.

I simply stare blankly at the stage, my mind not being able to comprehend any sound that surrounds me. Or anything else.

I just stay there, people cheering all around me and applauding the girl and the boy who won.

It's not them, I tell myself. It's not their success...

It's not them those who won.

They didn't win.

And it's all my fault.

*

The ride back home has been annoyingly silent. Hobi hasn't said any word and neither have I. JungKook went back home by his own, after telling the boys that second place is a great performance as well. I couldn't say anything. I didn't even tell them "Congratulations!"  I couldn't bring myself to do it. If I looked at them, I wouldn't see any sign that they're sad because they didn't get the first place. And apparently, that was true indeed.