Buy me flowers| PJM

F. 1

"Are you even listening to me?"

The girl was drawing noiselessly a beautiful rose on her notebook. Still, her mind was far away. She was thinking about the wonderful greenhouse that was waiting for her at home; The only place where she can be herself, the only place that doesn't make her feel like she is lost.

She looks at JungKook for a second, trying to remember what he was talking about... But she couldn't. She clearly didn't pay attention at all.

He sighs, knowing the answer already.

"I'm sorry." Yuna says.

"All I want is a bit of your attention... Is that too much to ask?"

She shakes her head, whispering a "no". It wasn't, really. Nevertheless, she couldn't care about too many things at this point, no matter how important they would be for her boyfriend.

"Are you alright?" JungKook asks, his voice full of concern.

"I am." She simply answers.

He looks at her, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever hurricane would be going on inside her heart right now. He knew that despite the fact that she looks like a pretty sea, her heart is a stormy ocean.

Without doubt, he tries to dive in its depths. However, he's always close to drowning in the endless unknown, in the infinite darkness that hides in her heart so well. Therefore, he's scared sometimes. He's scared of losing himself while loving her. But he knows he wouldn't give her up, no matter how deep he'd fall in the pit oh helplessness.

Because despite her ups and downs, despite her inner demons that take over her sometimes, somehow, she's the light that makes him feel worthy. Worthy of being loved.

Worthy of being alive...

"I wish you'd truly be." He sighs and leaves the class, leaving the girl still drawing patiently on her notebook.

Yuna's perspective

"What would you like to do today?" JungKook asks me when the last class finishes.

After what happened this morning, after my unintentional zone-out, he still talks to me like I'm the only girl in the world.

"Hobi oppa asked me to join him to his dance practice today, I suppose I cannot cancel." I say as we pass by a group of girls who shot me venous glares.

Yes, Jungkook is my boyfriend.

Yes, I know my boyfriend is attractive.

I ignore those looks and hold his hand lightly, like always. I feel guilty for doing this. I feel guilty for acting like I deserve his love, like I deserve him, but it's for the best. Despite the fact that I'm  in a relationship right now, guys keep confessing to me, sending me love letters...

Buying me flowers...

And that makes me feel even worse. Why aren't they scared of JungKook? Why won't they stop? Why do they keep trying?

This way, I believe love is poisonous. If you crave for somebody's love, somebody who is not willed to love you the way you want them to, why keep hoping? Therefore, that's the fact: we can't help but hope, can we?

My greenhouse is the best proof that, most of the times, love is a lie, an illusional attraction to a being just because of superficial appearances. It makes me feel better, when I think about it that way. It makes me feel less guilty that I can't love the people who truly care about me the way they do.

"Hyung is practicing really hard, isn't he?" JungKook says.

"He is, indeed." Is all that I can say.

"I'm really looking forward to the contest, I can't wait to see what he's been working on."

How comes JungKook seems more excited for my brother than I am? Ugh, I'm a terrible sister, aren't I?

"I would like to be like him someday, you know?" He suddenly says.

I turn around in order to face him and I look for any sign of humour in his expression. There was none.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"He's a great dancer and one of the most kind-hearted people I've ever met... he's really cool and I... I'm really looking up to him." He says slightly smiling.

"JungKook."

I get a hold of his arm in order to stop him and he turns to face me. Now, we're standing face to face and I swear, I've never been more aware of the height difference between us than I am right now.

"You are one of the most amazing humans I've ever got to know. Don't you ever underestimate yourself, okay?"

He looks at me like he wasn't expecting anything of this kind. Maybe he really wasn't. I wasn't either. But what I said was completely true. JungKook is everything I've ever knew, the beauty and peace that I've always aspired to. He truly is my ray of sunshine, alongside my brother.

It's just me that doesn't deserve him.

"I love you, you know that, right?" He finally says, pulling me into a hug and right then, I know that no matter how unworthy I'd be, I would never run away from this.

I would never run away from him.

*

Today, the sky of the 6:38 PM was a sweet shade of purple. The stars could be slightly seen and the moon was shyly hiding behind a cloud. I could tell it's gonna be a pretty night.

Such a shame I wasn't going to spend it alone.

Hoseok parks the car near the gym. I get out of the car and follow him to the entrance of the building.

"I have no idea how comes that you haven't met him yet." Oppa wonders for the tenth time this evening.

"Me either, but that doesn't matter, Hobi." I say praying he'd stop wondering such things.

We reach the door which was supposed to lead to the practice room Hobi has borrowed for them. I have been here just once and that was a long time ago. Oppa enters the room and I follow him inside.

"Mianhae, Jimin-ah..."

I turn around in wonder to find an ash-blonde haired guy sitting on the shiny floor of the room looking at me expressionless. There was something about him, about his stance, his vibe, his aura that made me shiver. I was feeling like he was the darkness to Hobi's light and that was making me feel really uneasy.

"Oh, my bad." Hobi says noticing the guy's look. "She's my baby sister, Yuna. I asked her to come along since the contest in close... Yuna, he's Jimin, my friend. Jimin, Yuna. The introductions have been made."

Neither of us says anything. I was carefully looking at his black clothes that made him look strangely dangerous. I felt like he knew I was analyzing his appearance, watching me as I watch him. I was so unsure of how I was supposed to act... The way he looked at me made me feel like I was naked and he was enjoying that.

"Ahem..." I clear my throat. "Shouldn't you practice or something?" I awkwardly say losing the eye contact with the Jimin guy.

"Ne." Hobi says. "C'mon, Jiminie, let's prove my baby sister that we're gonna burn the stage next week..."