Buy me flowers| PJM

F. 45

You come to a point in your life when you basically feel that until the sunset, your life will be somehow different. However, you're confused. Do you really want your life to change, that's a question that makes you feel anxious about your day so you end up wanting to run away from the hardships that you should be facing.

At least, that's what I feel right now. My brother's car has been drowned in silence ever since we left home and this is making me really uncomfortable, especially because we didn't get to talk about what happened last night. Even though I know this is something we've both been thinking about. I just don't know how to start.

And it's even worse because I could've bet he was going to mention that every day of my existence from now on. Except he hasn't.

"Are you nervous?" he asks me and it takes me a while to process the question, taken aback by his sudden words.

"I guess..." I say and sigh, thinking. "Hobi?"

"Hm?" He hums.

I stop for a second, thinking about how should I say it.

"About last night..."

He turns his head towards me with curiosity.

"What about it?" He asks.

"Why haven't we talked about it?" I question.

"Should we have talked about it?" he asks and I feel myself growing annoyed.

"Aren't you mad?" I ask.

"Why would I be-..."

"Can you please stop answering my questions with other questions?" I say and he chuckles.

"Sorry." He says. "I'm not mad, Yuna, why would you think that, though?"

I look at him, waiting for him to realize it by himself. I am not saying that out loud.

"Well?" He says and I can sense in his voice that he's teasing me.

He freaking knows what I'm talking about.

This bastard...

"The kiss between me and Jimin." I mutter. "You've seen that. Aren't you mad that-... that... I don't know, that it happened?"

He turns his head to look at me and then focuses on the road again.

"When we were talking in the kitchen, I saw your necklace around his neck." He says and my eyes widen.

Of course he did...

"I know how important that is for you so if you gave him your necklace, I can only assume it's too late to come between you two. I can only assume I can't stop it anymore."

His knuckles turn white on the steering wheel and I feel a cold shiver tickling me.

"Would you stop it if you could?" I ask and he doesn't say anything for a while.

The longer the wait, the bigger the fear in me. He's right: it's too late for him to stop anything. But I know he knows that I would give up on anything and anybody for him. So if he doesn't support me in this, thing will have to change.

"Probably not." He says eventually.

And it takes him a few seconds to continue:

"But I'm just... I don't know, I just don't want-..." he sighs, obviously unsure of how he's supposed to say his words, I look at him with curiosity.

He takes a deep breath and tries again.

"I hope you're not in love with him just because he's sick like you." He says and I inhale sharply.